By Mike Stetzer
Divorce can be one of the most difficult things a person goes through. You married someone because, presumably, you intended to spend the rest of your life with that person. For whatever reason, that didn't work out. Whether or not it was your choice to end the marriage, the odds are pretty good that you're going to have some bad feelings left over after the divorce is finalized.
The good news: you can put this behind you. With some effort and hard work, your divorce can be a turning point for the positive in your life.
If you are in the process of a divorce, you don't have to go at it alone. A local attorney may be able to help you with the difficulties of a divorce. If you would like to connect with an attorney near you, just fill out the short form below to arrange your initial consultation.
It is nearly universally agreed upon that the first step to moving past a divorce is acceptance. You need to accept the fact that the marriage is over. If you spend time trying to win your ex-spouse back after the divorce, it can be difficult to move on. Something in your relationship caused you or your spouse to end the marriage. You don't have to keep fighting for a marriage that has ended.
As painful as it might sound, you can try to turn your failed marriage into a learning opportunity. The more you can honestly look at yourself and your conduct the better you will be able to adapt from your previous marriage.
This isn't only applicable if you have been left by your spouse. If you are the one who initiates the divorce process, you still have plenty to look at yourself for, maybe even more. When you decide to end a marriage, you can try to figure out what led to this situation.
This could be realizing that you weren't ready to get married, or that you didn't get a chance to know the person well enough before marrying him or her. There will not always be fault on your end of a divorce, but more often than not, both sides are at least partially to blame.
Probably the single best thing you can do if after you are divorced is to try and see your new life as an opportunity. You were in a relationship that wasn't working and now it is over. You have an opportunity to move on with your life and take it in a new direction. You don't have to be unhappy in a marriage that either you or your spouse didn't want to be in any more. You can truly be free and try to find what makes you happiest.