By Chris Kramer
When filing for divorce, you may become very aware of how the decisions you make and the attitude you have can affect the safety and well-being of your children. Most parents facing divorce want to know if it's possible to have a child friendly divorce.
How smoothly the divorce goes depends on you, your spouse and your children. There's no one magic formula to make everything a best case scenario, especially if you and your spouse are in the midst of a contested divorce. But there are a few things to keep in mind that could help you and your spouse make your divorce family-friendly.
Although divorce creates a lot of tension between a couple, it is easier on everyone to keep the hostility and fighting away from the children. If parents can't work out differences or fight, it is certainly not a positive model and could present a poor example for learning how to resolve differences for the children.
Putting your children in the middle of the divorce can make them feel like they have to choose one parent over the other. Your children deserve to have a relationship with both parents. Even though the marriage didn't work out for you and your spouse, you should keep your comments positive about the other parent or not say anything at all to make the divorce easier for the children.
Some experts believe there are ways children may benefit in divorce. Seeing a moderate amount of conflict between parents may be a healthy way for children to face the reality their parents being apart and trying to cope with divorce.
It can be particularly traumatic for a child to be given devastating and confusing news like a divorce with no warning. Processing a new life and new relationships with both parents will take time. You may want to consider keeping discussion and disagreements open - according to appropriateness of age - instead of trying to keep everything hidden could help that process unfold.
While many parents are able to make joint child custody work, some divorce courts will award sole child custody to one parent or the other, believing that a single, stable home location with one parent plus a visiting parent is better for a child's upbringing than splitting time evenly between two homes. The noncustodial parent is usually given generous child visitation rights.
Visitations and shared child custody can be a source of frustration for both parents because personal disagreements can easily affect relationships with your children. Supporting your child's relationship with your former spouse, no matter how hard it is, can be one of the most crucial ways to help your children adjust to their new life.
By making an effort to keep appointments and follow the child visitation schedule. Encourage your spouse to attend school functions, athletic games or other events your child participates in, and make an effort to encourage a relationship between your children and ex-spouse.
In divorce, where decisions have long-term consequences and the gravity of the situation makes emotions run high, it's important to have realistic expectations of yourself and your children. Separated parents may not be the ideal situation for your children, but when you understand that nothing in life can be perfect, you will be better prepared to realistically move forward in creating a new life for you and your family.
A local divorce lawyer may be able to help you with the legal aspects of the divorce process so you can focus your mental and emotional energy managing arrangements for you and your children. Get advice on how you and your spouse can negotiate and compromise during the divorce to make it easier on the whole family, while still protecting your rights and interests with a divorce attorney near you.
Find a divorce lawyer in your area to answer your legal questions by calling 877-349-1310 or filling out a divorce case review form. Learn about protecting your children today.
The above summary of child friendly divorce is by no means all-inclusive and is not legal advice. For the latest information on divorce issues, speak to a divorce attorney in your area.