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Relationships After Divorce

Are You Ready to Start Over?


After a marriage, for many people, it has been years since they have gone on a date. The dating scene has probably changed, and their previous relationship might still be weighing on them.

How can you tell if you’re ready for a new relationship? No one can tell you for sure if you are ready to jump back into the dating scene, but there are several good tips for those that are trying to figure out both if they are ready to date and just how to go about it.

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After Divorce: Keep a Positive Mindset

Don't let your failed marriage make you pessimistic about all relationships.

It is natural to have resentment after your divorce. It would probably be strange not to be a little weary of putting your trust in someone again. But if you start dating, it likely won't be a serious relationship right off the bat. You'll have the opportunity to build trust with a new person.

Be open to new things

If you're serious about dating after divorce, you need to make sure that you are open to meeting new people and putting yourself in positions that might be slightly outside your comfort zone. If you have become accustom to staying in every Friday and Saturday night, you will have to be prepared to step out of your box.

Forgive your ex

It's important that you're emotionally ready to form a new relationship. You have to make sure that you don't bring your feelings of resentment into the next relationship. No one wants to hear about how horrible and angry your ex makes you on a first date.

Getting to the point where your ex doesn't create negative emotions is an important point of healing before you can really open up to a new person. You don't need to be best friends with your ex, but his or her name shouldn't send you into an emotional collapse.

Admit your role

Unless you are part of the very few exceptions, you probably had some part in the end of your marriage. It isn’t something that you should dwell on. Often two people will get married and learn later that they simply aren't right for each other.

Until you can fully admit your faults and learn from your actions in the marriage, you haven’t truly evolved from your marriage.

Work on determining how you interacted in your relationship and really look introspectively to see if you had any misconceptions about what a marriage should be. Use your relationship as a growing point for yourself, be a better person than you where with your ex.

Moving on is one of the most difficult parts of divorce. It takes a lot of effort to prepare yourself for a world where you might get hurt again. But when you are ready, you might find it to be much more rewarding, and much less scary, than you originally thought.