Divorce can be a stressful experience, affecting many aspects of your life, including your work life. As reported in the Detroit Free Press, career experts suggest keeping divorce issues and work life separate.

Experts outline nine career tips:

1. Keep your divorce life private. Your personal life and divorce should be separate from your professional work so they are less likely to interfere with one another. Tina Tessina, a licensed psychotherapist, suggests that you “keep your personal life to yourself. That will make it much easier to leave your divorce stress out of the office.”
2. Separate personal and professional lives. Leave personal issues at the front doorstep and work-related matters at the office. Tessina suggests that “when you leave work, shut the work door on work problems and don’t take them home. If you compartmentalize like this, you’ll get some relief and your problems won’t overlap.”
3. Schedule divorce proceedings and court dates around work. Nancy Dreeben, a matrimonial and family attorney, defends that you shouldn’t have to miss more work than needed. “If there is a legitimate reason to put the case on the 3 p.m. calendar as opposed to the 9:30 a.m. calendar, a judge is likely to do so.”
4. Give advanced and fair notice when missing work. Court dates are generally arranged one month in advance. Give your employer a courteous and advanced notification.
5. Try settling your divorce without going to trial. “Taking time off for a trial will be devastating for you and your employer,” Dreeben notes. If the divorce goes to trial, she suggests scheduling it during your vacation time.
6. Don’t talk to your lawyer while at work. In keeping your personal and professional lives separate, talk to your divorce lawyer in a private space.
7. Don’t talk to your soon-to-be-ex at work. These conversations can be emotional and volatile. In keeping with separating your personal and professional lives, leave these conversations for personal time.
8. Use your work computer and office supplies for work-related matters only. Keep your personal matters in a personal space. If not, your hard drive at work could be seized for discovery purposes during the divorce process.
9. Allow yourself emotional breaks. Permit yourself to let-down emotionally periodically. Psychologist LeslieBeth Wish suggests cry breaks for “crying out your hurt rids your body of stress toxins.”

Source: Detroit Free Press

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

In an initial judgment, a New Jersey judge treated a pug like property, which would be appointed after the break-up of Eric Dare and Doreen Houseman. Dare was given the dog, and Houseman was awarded $1,500 for what the couple had paid for the pup.

But Dexter the pug has “subjective value,” a state appeals court ruled of the divorce decision. On Wednesday, July 29, Salem County Superior Judge John Tomasello decided that the pug is joint property since both Dare and Houseman cared for him while living together.

Since the ruling still left who got pet custody undecided, Tomasello asked both divorce lawyers submit briefs to suggest who should be granted custody.

Housman told the press that the two consider Dexter to be their son. Both Dare and Housman have spent more than $20,000 on legal proceedings to gain custody of the pup.

Learn more about pet custody.

Source: ABAJounal

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

On Friday, July 24, Johnny Knoxville, whose real name is Philip John Clapp, managed to suspend his notorious tomfoolery long enough to finalize a divorce from his wife of 12 years.

Married back in 1995, the couple separated in July of 2006 and officially filed for legal separation in 2007. Neither Knoxville nor his newly ex-wife, Melanie Lynn Clapp, sought spousal support from the settlement.

Although Clapp will receive $6,000 a month in child support from the “Jackass” star, they will share joint custody of their 13-year-old daughter, Madison.

Additionally, in agreeing to split their assets evenly, Clapp will receive half of the residuals from Knoxville’s MTV series franchise and his 2005 movie, “The Dukes of Hazzard,” for which he was paid a reported five million dollars. Individually, Knoxville was able to retain stakes in his various production companies.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

This morning Linda Bollea and Hulk Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, settled their divorce in court. And although the divorce process was a bitter battle, the hearing seemed to show a side of the Hogans America remembers watching on their reality TV show a few years ago.

When Bollea entered the courtroom, she gave Hogan a kiss on the cheek.

“The war is over,” Bollea said after the hearing. “I still love him. He’s the father of my children.”

Both look forward to putting the divorce behind them and moving on with their careers.  According to Bollea the divorce was “embarassing.”

“When you’re married to someone for 23 years … you hope for the best …. We just got torn apart,” Hogan agreed.

According to the press, even the opposing divorce lawyers hugged each other after the hearing.

Source: TBO.com

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Researchers at John Hopkins University, as well as the University of Chicago recently conducted a study of 8,700 currently married people who had been divorced at one time. They found that these subjects, aged 51 to 61, had a 12% higher incidence of bad health and chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or cancer than married individuals who were never previously divorced.

In addition, the study’s subjects had a 19% increase in mobility limitations, such as difficulty climbing stairs.

The study concluded that filing for divorce was even harmful to those who tried marriage a second time.
The researchers similarly found that subjects who were still divorced and never remarried or were widowed experienced 20% more chronic health conditions and 23% more mobility limitations in comparison to those never divorced in the first place.

Obviously divorce and child custody negotiations can cause stress levels to rise significantly, which is proven to negatively impact health.

It should be noted that subjects never previously married had a 12% increase in mobility limitations and 13% more depression-related symptoms. However, no difference was shown in chronic health conditions when compared with married subjects.

Gender Inequality in the Physical Toll of Divorce

In a different study conducted at the University of Utah, researchers found that women in unhappy marriages are more likely to experience injurious effects to their health than men.

Although both genders are likely to suffer from general depression resulting from a strained marriage, women more frequently suffer from signs of “metabolic syndrome”: including high blood pressure, obesity and other risk factors of heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

In fact, men for the most part did not face an increased risk of metabolic syndrome at all.

Involving 276 couples aged 40 to 70, the study entailed couples filling out several questionnaires, including three to examine positive aspects of marriage quality; three to measure negative aspects of marital quality involving arguments and feelings of hostility; and four to determine symptoms of mild depression.

Source: CTV National News

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

During the month of August, parents who have had their driver’s license suspended because of unpaid child support will have the chance to get their driver’s license restored.

California divorce law suspends licenses (driver’s, business and professional) of noncustodial parents who don’t pay child support until the payments are current.

“Get Back on the Road Again” is being offered by Sierra Nevada Regional Department of Child Support Services and will be available for all California child support cases.

The program is a “one-time deal.” The Department of Child Support Services will release a driver’s license when the supporting parent pays one month of the child support order, gives $25 toward past payments and provides current employment information. The paying parent may also need to give information about his or her current financial circumstances.

“This is just for driver licenses, but we will talk to them about professional licenses,” said Sierra Nevada office Director Tex Ritter.

The Sierra Nevada office of Child Support Services has distributed $6.6 million in child support in about 4,000 divorce cases from July 2008 through May 2009.

For information on the program, go online and visit www.childsup.ca.gov.

Source: TheUnion.com

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

British singer Amy Winehouse and video production assistant husband Blake Fielder-Civil were granted a divorce by the High Court of London on Thursday, July 16. Fielder-Civil filed for a divorce allegedly in response to Winehouse’s adultery and infidelity.

Winehouse has confirmed involvement with 21-year-old actor, Josh Bowman. Bowman and Winehouse were reported together earlier this year in St. Lucia while husband Fielder-Civil remained behind prison bars in England.

Winehouse and Fielder-Civil were married for two years, having tied the knot in May 2007. Just six months into their marriage, Fielder-Civil, 27, was convicted and sentenced for perverting the course of justice and grievous bodily harm after a bar fight.

Fielder-Civil filed for divorce from within prison. Winehouse has just returned to Britain after a six month retreat on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia.

The judge of the London High Court granted the couple a “decree nisi,” a preliminary grant of divorce without either party appearing in court. If no cause to the contrary is presented within the next six weeks, the divorce will become absolute and will be dissolved according to Winehouse’s spokesman, Chris Goodman.

The couple’s relationship has been turbulent. Winehouse has battled drug and alcohol abuse, which she muses over her hesitation to enter drug and alcohol rehabilitation in her hit “Rehab.” Fielder-Civil’s influence and involvement with Winehouse correlates to excessive drug and alcohol abuse and self-destructive behavior.

The two seem to feed off of one another’s habits. Winehouse has referred to Fielder-Civil as the male-version of herself. While having pled not guilty, Winehouse was charged in September 2008 for quarreling and hitting a fan after agreeing to pose for a photograph at a charity ball in London.

Winehouse’s dichotomous and controversial life has been depicted by professional fame and personal turmoil. Alston of Newsweek called her “a perfect storm of sex kitten, raw talent and poor impulse control.”

Her tumultuous life and relationship may inform the basis of the lyrics to her world-wide hit from her album “Back to Black,” where she sings that “love is a losing game.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

The United Action for Youth in Iowa City recently started a workshop for children stuck in the middle of their parents’ divorce. The Kids First Divorce Workshops will give children a place to talk about their feelings in a two-and-half hour mandatory session for children with divorcing parents.

“Kids process information differently at different ages,” said Kate Moreland, UAY’s development director. “It serves as a support group, too. It allows them to vent feelings so they’re not alone in the process.”

The program was first developed by the Kids First Law Center in Linn County. The program has been running for two years now. Johnson County was set to have the program start on July 11th, but it was delayed because of low enrollment.

“We have not received one negative call,” said Jenny Shulz, the founder and executive director of Kids First Law Center in Cedar Rapids. “I frankly think that is pretty amazing — not one piece of negative feedback from people after attending the class.”

The workshop is an educational and interactive experience for children, using artwork, games, videos, discussions and role-playing. Older children will have the chance to ask an attorney about the divorce process.

During divorce, children may be left to take care of their own thoughts and feelings as parents try to work through their own issues, Moreland told the press. The free workshops give youth a place to express what they are thinking and feeling with other children who are the same age.

“It gives them a safe and confidential place to speak about the divorce,” Moreland said. “It lets them know they are not alone and it is not their fault.”

Sources: The Daily Iowan, The Press-Citizen

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Once making headlines for football, Bernie Kosar continues to get caught in the spotlight but a less flattering one.

Kosar became noticed when playing for the University of Miami Hurricanes in the early 1980s. After a successful college career as a quarterback, Kosar was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 1985. During the 1993 season, Kosar was released by the Browns and signed a one year contract with the Dallas Cowboys. During his final three years in the NFL, Kosar returned to Miami to play with the Dolphins.

After football, Kosar was involved with several financial ventures, which unfortunately, didn’t work out in his favor. During his divorce, Kosar filed for bankruptcy in June:

“It is hard to believe he filed a bankruptcy petition in June, but a bad economy, bad advice, a bad divorce and a bad habit of not being able to say “no” have ravaged him. He says financial advisers he loved and trusted mismanaged his funds, doing things like losing $15 million in one quick burst. There’s a $4.2 million judgment against him from one bank. A failed real-estate project in Tampa involving multi-family properties. A steakhouse collapsing with a lawsuit. Tax trouble.”

The NFL star filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on June 19. Businesses usually file for Chapter 11, but individuals with large debts can, too. The petition indicated Kosar has assets estimated between $1 million and $10 million and liabilities between $10 million and $50 million.

The filing listed Kosar’s largest unsecured creditors, owed a combined $19.5 million, including the Cleveland Browns, nearly $1.5 million; his ex-wife Babette, $3 million in a divorce settlement; and Jim Ferraro, a Coral Gables lawyer and the owner of the Cleveland Gladiators, $725,000.

In 2007, Kosar’s wife, Babette, filed for divorce. She accused him of acting ”financially irrationally and irresponsibly” by ”giving away money,” according to court documents.

“It [the divorce] has been a public disaster, with him being accused of several addictions, of erratic behavior and of giving away the couple’s money.

Bernie says he has no interest in fighting with his estranged wife publicly or privately because “I can’t live vengefully in front of my kids. Why subject them to that? I don’t want to fight anybody. I don’t want hate or anger in their life. I may hurt me, but I wouldn’t hurt anybody else.”…He says the divorce has cost him between $4 and $5 million already.”

Kosar and his wife have four children. With all his financial trouble and heartbreak from the divorce, Kosar is focusing his time and attention on his children:

“He has poured himself into being Dad, but it isn’t easy. Kids listen more from 2 to 10 years old. But now there are the perpetual parental concerns of cars, driving, drinking, drugs, sex.

“I’m outnumbered now,” he says.

And he has no clue how to help girls become women, although he gets moved to the brink of tears when his girls tell him they appreciate how hard he’s trying… He has found therapy in learning how to clean the house with the kids and dealing with life’s smaller headaches.”

Source: The Miami Hearld – “The Life and Times of Bernie Kosar in 2009: Not many wins, far too many losses” and “Ex-Miami Hurricane Bernie Kosar files for Bankruptcy”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

In what has undoubtedly resulted in one of the most expensive divorces in showbiz history, Mel Gibson’s wife of 28 years filed for divorce back in April, ironically on Good Friday.

Robyn Moore cited irreconcilable differences with the prolific actor and director, and the couple has allegedly been separated since 2006 after Gibson’s DUI arrest in Malibu. In the past, Gibson has called his now ex-wife “a saint for putting up with him.”

Seeking privacy, the couple offered a joint public message on Monday, April 13, stating, “Throughout our marriage and separation we have always strived to maintain the privacy and integrity or our family and will continue to do so.”

For nearly two decades, Robyn Gibson remained in her husband’s shadow and chose not to attend most Hollywood functions. Their hope is that their divorce will imitate in this private fashion.

The broken couple also filed a joint request basically asking the judge ruling in their case to keep the information about their finances private. The divorce settlement will never be revealed to the media, and neither party, divorce lawyers included, is allowed to disclose any information found in financial documents used in establishing the value of the Gibson’s estate.

Therefore, the split fortune’s actual amount will remain a mystery.

The two were married in a small ceremony in 1980 at a Forestville Church in New South Wales before Mel Gibson accrued his immense fame. No prenuptial agreement was signed at the time of their marriage, as it is said that Robyn was supporting him at the time.

In the absence of a prenuptial agreement, Gibson’s wife is essentially entitled to half of everything her husband earned during their marriage. She reportedly is seeking spousal support, joint custody of their child Tom (the only minor of their seven children) and attorney fees.

Gibson is worth an estimated $900 million. He confirmed their plans for filing divorce on “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno, also revealing that he is expecting a child with Russian musician and now-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

Referring to himself as “Octo-Mel,” Gibson insisted that he is entirely at fault for the demise of his marriage. When asked by Leno what happened, he matter-of-factly stated, “Look. When it’s all said and done, I did a pretty good hatchet job on my marriage myself. I’m to blame. If you’re inclined to judge, put it there.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.