Identified Reason for Divorce: Lack of Communication
People always question:
“Why did this happen to me? Why did we get divorced? Why? Why? Why?”
We all want to know the reasons for divorce, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the process that it’s hard to take a step back and clearly look into the why’s and how’s.
Some might have thought that financial stress caused their marriage to disintegrate or maybe the ex-spouse committed an unforgivable act of cheating with another person.
But these, however stressful on a marriage these factors might be, according to a new article, neither are the number one reason people are filing divorce. According to the Salt Lake Marriage Examiner, it might be the avoidance of conflict that causes most marriages to end up in divorce.
Think about it, many people do not like conflict. They would rather sweep it under the rug and pretend like it doesn’t exist.
So how do we get out of conflict and work through tough situations like financial stress?
In many cases when couples fight, it’s hard for them to come to a resolution or agreement that they can both be happy with.
So then what happens? The anger and frustration is still there and it spills over into other parts of the relationship.
This can make it less likely that a married couple will go on dates or spend time with each other because they are letting the feelings inside boil up. And when in public, people generally feel more uncomfortable fighting.
So they just end up avoiding each other all together, thus creating more time for the anger and bitterness to sit.
According to Diane Sollee, the director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education, every couple has a few disagreements that will never be resolved because they are each two different people. She suggests that once couples understand this, then they need to learn to live with these disagreements and learn how to manage and live “around” them.
She goes on to say that you can love despite these differences and develop an understanding of the other person’s position.
Communication might be key to ending conflicts and learning to handle any situation. Lack of communication might be very hard for a marriage to withstand.
Source: Salt Lake Marriage Examiner
September 12th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
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September 14th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Sometimes it is hard to say what you are thinking, but to have a good marriage you have to be able to get your thoughts out of your head and into your mouth.
September 14th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
My husband and I have had no communication for, at least, forty years. We started a divorce back then, however, it was never completed. I don’t even know who we started it with. Does the law require us to begin a divorce all over again?