At nine years old, Nujood Ali was force to marry a man in his late twenties. She was raped and beaten. Then she made history: she got a divorce.

Her ordeal as a child bride was reported in Yemeni media outlets before slowly getting picked up and reported internationally. She was ultimately named Glamour magazine’s woman of the year, and she traveled to New York as a new spokesperson for the rights of women.

Ali shared her story, in spoken form, with a French journalist, Delphine Minoui, and now the story has been published in print form in English, titled “I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced.” When the Arabic language edition is published shortly, Ali, who is now twelve years old, will finally be able to read her own story for the first time.

Ali told the story to Minoui in person, rather than writing it down.

“I do not know what is in it, except what I have been told about. I am still waiting to read it in my own language,” she told Reuters, which is reporting the story. “But I guess it is important to have my story come out to the rest of the world.”

According to the article, publishers have plans to publish the book in a total of 19 different languages, all the better to spread her inspiring story. It first appeared in France last year.

The book tells Ali’s story, how she was married off by her poor father to an older man. She was the one of more than a dozen children.

Her new husband removed her from school and took her off to his home village. He also raped her on the first night of their arranged marriage.

“No matter how I screamed,” said Ali in the memoir, “no one came to help me. It hurt awfully, and I was all alone to face the pain.”

When her husband let her visit her family in Sanaa, a Yemeni city, Ali was able to escape, hailing a cab that took her to the city courthouse. The human rights lawyer Shada Nasser helped her to seek and ultimately get a divorce from the husband. She was the first child bride to successfully get a divorce in Yemen.

Ali’s translator, filmmaker Khadija Al-Salami, reported that the part of Ali’s life captured in the book is not the end of the story. The girl was so busy doing media interviews last year that her school kicked her out. Al-Salami now monitors her education, and the book’s French publisher has lent Ali’s family a hand, buying a home for her family.

Ali has used royalties from the book to pay for her education.
“My life now in Yemen is calm and I live like a happy middle-class kid,” she said, “where last year I was having a miserable poor life.”

Ali’s story, which she can now herself read, has led Yemeni citizens to push for legislation that would ban marriage before the age of 18. A quarter of girls there are still, however, married by age 15.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Couples in marital trouble are waiting for the economic downturn to end before getting a divorce, according a Washington Post article.

In what the article calls the Great Recession, couples that probably should or want to dissolve are holding off in hopes that housing prices will return to normal and job prospects will improve.

Often, in these stressed out financial times, a money shortage can mean that there is not enough to support two separate households, or to hire the lawyers necessary to carry out divorce proceedings.

According to the Washington Post, the number of couples staying together past their expiration date is rising. This can mean that couples don’t actually follow through with the paperwork of a divorce, or that they take measures to save money, like living together while they separate emotionally.

In other words, an already difficult process becomes, in tough economic times, that much more complicated and nuanced.
The Post spoke with a number of divorce lawyers and divorcing couples who have been on the front lines of the changing divorce landscape.

David Goldberg is a divorce lawyer and a mediator in Virginia. In his 44 years in the business of family law, he claims not to have seen a comparable environment before. “I have lots of files sitting in the drawer, where people can’t move of forward,” he said. “I have a lot of clients who have ended up in bankruptcy.”

Paulene Foster is a federal worker who has put her divorce on hold as a result of money problems, choosing to delay the proceedings for a year. She also shared a house with her estranged husband. She lived upstairs in their suburban townhouse, while he lived in the basement. The arrangement lasted for months.

“It was a mess,” said Foster, stating what may seem to be the obvious. She finally filed for divorce last month, paying $105 in fees at a self-help law clinic.

At a law firm in Woodbridge, Virginia, almost a quarter of clients pursuing divorce are still living with the spouse from whom they are estranged. Often, such couples live in houses where they wouldn’t be able to cover their debt by selling, and they would rather live together as an estranged couple than live apart under new debt.

Or, in the words of the article, “How do they start over if debt is all that’s left to divide?”

For Marissa Fuller, a childcare worker, economic hardship led to the failure of her marriage, and ultimately to simultaneous divorce and bankruptcy when her husband lost his job and bills piled up. Of the stresses of money trouble on her relationship, she said, “that really made the marriage crumble.”

The divorce rate saw a steady decline during 2008, the first year of the recession, rather than the spike that one might expect given the number of studies that show links between divorce rates and economic hardship.

Dividing a marriage in a divorce can be expensive. Paying for another household, and coordinating legal fees, is a daunting task. In a new economic environment, couples are learning new ways to navigate the process, facing new challenges with new, and perhaps less than ideal, solutions.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

It appears that Jessie James’ alleged infidelity might cause more problems for him than he thought.

This alleged cheating has created issues with his current marriage to actress Sandra Bullock and now custody of his child.

James had settled his custody dispute several months ago his ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder. But now she says she wants full custody of their six-year-old daughter, Sunny

James sought full custody of Sunny claiming that Lindemulder and her husband Jeremy Aikman were unfit parents, because both were convicted felons.

Lindemulder was convicted of tax evasion and lived in a halfway house after the conviction.

The judge agreed and granted James full custody in December. Lindemulder was only granted limited visitation rights. Sunny currently lives with James and Bullock.

Lindemulder (a former porn star) admitted to making mistakes in the past but claims she is now on the right track. She said she deserves custody of her daughter.

She further requested that Bullock stay out of the custody battle this time around. In the prior child custody case, Bullock wrote a letter to the judge showing her concern for Sunny’s well being.

The letter also said that Lindemulder was allegedly using drugs.
But Lindemulder feels that the tables have turned since James’ alleged affair with Michele McGee and at least three other women. She sees this as an opportunity and hopes the courts will side with her due to the recent events.

Also, the San Jose Mercury News reported that Bullock moved out of James’ home. So the once stable home is now crumbling into pieces and could be used in a case against James.

ABC News reported that the hearing, set for June 14th, is for a modification regarding child support or child visitation. Lindemulder has not yet filed the paperwork for the case.

James’ attorney, Marilyn Slifman, said that, “Mr. James’ sole concern is for the safety, welfare and best interests of his daughter. The proper forum to resolve this case is in the courtroom.”

The courts will once again have to decide which parent is fit to have full custody of their daughter.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

The American Free Press is reporting that, in Iran, a new program is offering young people a diploma for attending courses. The subject matter: courting.

The diploma is designed to be earned before marrying, and is part of a government plan to reduce the divorce rate in the country.

The National Youth Organisation is offering the courting diploma as an online course to teach Iranian youth how to identify the right life partner, how to know if he or she is right for marriage, how to propose, and ways to find happiness in marriage.

Designed by academics and clerics, it is an interactive course lasting three months, and to stay in the course students have to take a weekly test of their courting knowledge.

Traditionally, hardline Iranian leaders look down on dating relationships outside of wedlock, and want men and women to get together and marry in their early twenties. Single people in their thirties are looked down upon by these same traditionalists.

Conservatives rose to power in Iran five years ago, and since then their representatives in government have repeated the goal of “facilitating marriage for young people.” The population in Iran is particularly young, with 60 percent of Iran’s 70 million citizens under 30.

Statistics show, however, that the average age when couples marry has risen to 29. Economic hardship and changes in values are the main reasons that couples are marrying later in their lives. Women are driving these changes as well, as more and more go to college, for example.

The marriage diploma has received a good deal of ribbing online, which AFP calls “a torrent of jokes.” Officials, though, are adamant about the need for awareness. At the same time, however, they haven’t said much about the course itself, and what might be involved in it.

Head of the National Youth Organisation Mehrdad Bazrpash said “marriage needs hundreds of hours of education,” as he inaugurated the program in Tehran.

According to Iranian officials, the divorce rate in Iran has risen by 15.7 percent from 2008 to 2009. In that same time, there was only a 2.1 percent increase in marriages.

In Tehran, a quarter of marriages end in divorce, according to the same officials.

Psychologist and adviser to the National Youth Organisation Ahmad Borjali said that “divorce is taboo and against values, but educational work does not cost much. Face-to-face education is much more important, and this can be a start given the size of the country.”

Critics of the government have, perhaps predictably, been critical of this marriage diploma initiative as well.

“Our society is confused between tradition and modernity,” sociologist Shahla Ezazi told AFP. “Awareness is fine but the question is what kind of family they are seeking to promote. There are both traditional and arranged marriages and modern love marriages. But most propaganda is focused on reinforcing men’s leadership and women’s obedience.”

Publicity for the marriage diploma seemed to show a conservative approach to marriage, encouraging match-making and looking down on unmarried relationships.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

British film director Sam Mendes piloted the project that brought Oscar nominations and Golden Globe awards for himself and his wife, Kate Winslet. And in a heart-warming moment at the 2008 Golden Globe awards, Winslet thanked him from the podium, calling him “babe.”

Now, however, the celebrity couple have announced via their lawyers that they will divorce, following seven years of marriage, according to the Associated Press.

The divorce comes only two years after Mendes and Winslet worked together on the film “Revolutionary Road,” the story of a crumbling marriage. The Oscar-nominated film tells the story of a marriage that falls apart, with Leonardo DiCaprio in the role of the husband to Winslet’s wife. Winslet won the Golden Globe for her effort as April Wheeler, whose dreams of a life in Paris are dashed by the realities of suburban America.

Mendes directed the film, and received wide acclaim if not an Oscar. He did win Academy Awards for directing the 1999 film “American Beauty,” starring Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening. Mendes got an Oscar nod as Best Director, and the film garnered the Best Picture award, among others.

Winslet has her own fair share of awards, including an Oscar for best actress for her role in The Reader in 2009. She had been nominated many times before that, for roles in “Titanic,” “Iris,” “Sense and Sensibility,” “Little Children” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”

The couple was not seen together at this year’s Academy Awards.

Mendes, 44, and Winslet, 34, have a six-year-old son together, and Winslet has a nine-year-old daughter with her previous marriage to British director Jim Threapleton, from whom she was divorced in 2001. The statement from their lawyers, Schillings, said that the separating couple were “fully committed to the future joint parenting of their children.”

News sources did not know whether the divorce proceedings had yet begun.

Winslet and Mendes reportedly split earlier in the year, according to ABC News. The divorce is, according to the statement, “entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement.”

They were married in a low-key beach ceremony in 2003, the same year that their son was born.

In her “Revolutionary Road” Golden Globe speech in 2008, Winslet told Mendes from the podium: “Thank you for directing this film, babe, and thank you for killing us every single day and really enjoying us actually being in such horrific pain.”

The couple was famously superstitious, and ABC News tells of a pact that they would never fly on the same plane together following the events of September 11, 2001. Mendes, apparently, nearly boarded the plane that terrorists would crash into the Pentagon building in Washington, D.C.

Mendes was a successful theater director before his turn at the helm of “American Beauty” catapulted him into the role of famous director.

Winslet grew up in an acting family and started early with roles on television. She landed a part in Peter Jackson’s film “Heavenly Creatures” and played Ophelia in Kenneth Branagh’s film version of “Hamlet.” Her grand star turn, however, was her starring role with DiCaprio in the mega-hit “Titanic.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

London has been labeled as the “divorce payout capital” of the world, according to a Reuters article. The courts there have been known to award large settlements in divorce cases.

These courts have handled high profile divorce settlements such as Heather Mills, who was awarded £24.3 million after her divorce from former Beatle Paul McCartney in 2008.

Now, foreign couples who are unhappy with their divorce settlements in their parts of the world are requesting the British courts to review their cases.

Recently, a woman with dual citizenship in Nigeria and England requested that the British courts review her divorce case. Under British divorce laws, financial relief can be granted to people whose divorce takes place in foreign country.

Sikirat Agbaje was not happy with her divorce settlement that she received from courts in Nigeria.

She had separated from her husband Olusola Agbaje in 1999 after 38 years of marriage. She then left Nigeria and traveled to London with her five children to make a new life. Her husband remained in Nigeria.

In her Nigerian divorce court settlement, Sikirat Agbaje was awarded money equaling £7,000. She also received some Lagos property that the couple had owned together during their marriage.

Since the couple was granted British citizenship in 1972, the British courts agreed to review her case.

A High Court British Judge awarded her £275,000. However, this ruling was overturned in an appeal case.

But the Supreme High Court decided that the ruling was fair and reinstated the award. They said that she should receive the monies because of the connection the couple had with England over the years.

Supreme Court Judge Collins said that the British high court awarded her the settlement because her ex-husband received much more under the Nigerian divorce court.

Collins further said that is was an injustice and hardship for Sikirat to survive while supporting the children on such a small settlement.

Some say this might open up opportunities for many more divorce settlements brought before the British courts for those that were unhappy with prior settlements they received.

Attorney Meredith Thompson said the ruling could likely result in an increase in the number of overseas claimants bringing their cases to London.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

As a part of preparing for a divorce from her estranged husband, Long Island mother of four Susan Williams hired a private investigator to do some digging on her husband in search of incriminating evidence.

According to ABC News, the investigator that she met with in 2008, Joe La Bella, was a retired police detective in the NYPD now working for a private company called East Coast Investigative Services. La Bella’s investigation did not come up with anything that satisfied his client.

To his surprise, however, she contacted La Bella again through a friend, saying that she wanted to meet with him again.

The client and the investigator did meet again, at a diner, to discuss where the case might go. According to La Bella, Williams vented for a time about her husband and about the divorce proceedings.

Then, in a strange turn, Williams asked La Bella if he knew anyone who could have her husband “seriously injured.” This idea, to hurt her husband with hired help, soon evolved into a plan to have him murdered. La Bella then, as he says it, went into “detective mode,” and pushed Williams to discuss what exactly her plans were, eliciting the murder plot.

La Bella contacted the district attorney’s office soon after the meeting, and with their assistance he set up another meeting with Williams. Under audio surveillance, the ex-detective assured Williams that he could get her in touch with a hit man.

According to Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice, Williams could not bring herself to say the actual words when pushed about whether she wanted her husband dead.

According to Rice: The conversations that this defendant had were very clear. In the beginning, it was ‘I want him seriously injured.’ And that turned into ‘I want him gone. I want him gone.’ At one point, when the person says to her, ‘do you want him dead?’ She says, ‘I can’t say that word,’ but she nods her head up and down.

A few days later, Williams met with a person she thought was a hit man. In fact, it was an undercover Nassau County police detective. The hit would cost $20,000, he told her, and provided her with a number of chances to back out of the arrangement. Williams, instead of bailing, gave the detective a photo of her husband, his work and home addresses, his license plate number, and a $500 down payment for the hit.

Williams was ultimately arrested by the Nassau County police and charged with second degree conspiracy and criminal solicitation in the second degree. She pleaded not guilty, and she faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted.

The allegations were made during a bond hearing, in which a judge denied a request to lower the bail set for Williams, which is currently $1 million.

Joe La Bella, meanwhile, was perplexed by Williams’ brash inquiries. I was a little taken back, he said, that she would ask me something like that when she knew I was a retired detective.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

In Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, as budget problems and economic concerns continue to draw the attention of legislators, politicians are considering whether to pursue a piece of legislation that would attempt to address the issue of divorce in the state, according to the Associated Press.

The Oklahoma legislature is controlled by members of the Republican party, and divorce legislation is a sensitive subject for conservatives across the country.

Further complicating the matter and facing conservatives against each other ideologically, Oklahoma divorce rates are among the highest in the nation, falling behind only Nevada and Arkansas based on 2007 data. There were 28,419 marriages in Oklahoma that year, and 18,851 divorces.

Poverty, teen pregnancy and early marriage are cited as possible causes of the divorce rate problem.

Such high rates of divorce come in a state whose conservative leaders continually stress the importance of family values. Church attendance levels in Oklahoma are among the highest of any state.

Three bills were proposed by the Oklahoma Legislature recently. While two of them were shot down, one has stayed alive and awaits action. This bill would require newlywed couples to attend planning sessions, and that couples who were considering divorce to attend therapy sessions.

Conservatives critical of the bill say that their values dictate that the government should not intrude on the private lives of individuals. One Republican legislator, Representative Leslie Osborn, asked How far do I want government to come into my home and your home about private personal matters?

Those conservatives who support the bill, though, feel that the actual impact of the bill would be minimal. It might provide a little benefit up front to newly married couples, said Republican Representative Mark McCullough said of his bill, adding that it could very well satisfy a compelling government interest. It’s a terrible crisis.

The rift between Republicans has shown the divide between fiscal and social conservatives. And while other issues have brought out this divide, like gay marriage and women’s reproductive rights, the divorce issue is of particular interest given the high rates in the state.

The issue of divorce is not only a social issue, however. A 2008 study showed, for example, that the cost of divorce and single parent child-bearing across the country could be as high as $112 billion.

Such costs have raised the awareness of the fiscal conservatives, as legislators have struggled with a $665 million shortfall in the state budget this session.

Of the two bills that did not make it through to this point, one would have required that couples having marital problems visit a therapist or faith-based counselor before getting a divorce. The other bill would have ended “incompatibility” as a cause for divorces in marriages over ten years or divorce involving children.

The only bill to last has been McCullough’s measure to require pre-marriage planning and troubled marriage counseling.

The more dysfunction you stop up the stream the less you will have to spend down the stream. We need to take this seriously, McCullough said.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

It has now been two years since 12-year-old Nujood Ali ended her marriage to her husband—a man in his 30s—and now the girl has achieved fame around the globe for her bold actions.

The case, heard in a courthouse in Sanaa, Yemen, brought attention to then 10-year-old Ali and the culture of child brides in the country. At the time, the case caused much stress for Ali and her family, making them the center of the debate on tradition and culture in Yemen.

A whirlwind of controversy surrounded Ali’s divorce case, according to CNN, and for the reporter to even get a pre-arranged interview was quite a feat. By demanding a divorce from her 30-something husband, Ali threw her nation into somewhat of a frenzy—breaking the traditional mold of Yemen’s culture.

At age 10, Ali exuded the essence of a child in every way—from her laugh and smile to her childish mannerisms that any girl her age should possess. CNN reporters found during their interview that there was another side to the girl entirely.

In her marriage to a man more than 20 years her senior, Ali had been abused and threatened—but she was no quitter and she fought for, even demanded a divorce so she could win back her childhood that had been ripped away by an early marriage.

Ali’s divorce case caught the world’s attention, and media from several countries covered the story. In August of 2009, CNN reporters once again interviewed Ali—this time to find a more mature young woman on the other side of the table, but one who didn’t seem much happier than she had two years before.

Many supporters of Ali and her family donated money to send the girl to private school and help her family survive, but according to Ali, the money hasn’t helped anything and she even stated that she wished she had never opened up to world media.

According to the CNN report, the girl’s fame has caused even more strife in her family because family members believe they should be living on wealth that Ali’s story should bring, but they aren’t and it continues to make her life very stressful.

A recent article from the Los Angeles Times reports that Ali is now doing much better. She has since co-authored a book with French journalist Delphine Minoui, and the profits from the book are helping pay for the Ali family’s home and schooling.

The book, titled “I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced,” is available on Amazon.com. The girl’s full true story may put a new perspective on divorce in America.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Most religious people look to their pastors for moral guidance, so when religious leaders file for divorce, some ask the question “why?”

If a man or woman of the cloth cannot make their marriage work, how are others supposed to? Successful televangelist Benny Hinn now must face his followers—and his soon to be ex-wife.

Although Hinn preaches the word of God and shares his healing powers with the masses , Hinn was unable to mend his marriage of 30 years.

But Hinn is not your typical pastor. His ministry, based out of Grapevine, Texas, is one of the most financially successful in the world. He has been scrutinized by many people for his lavish lifestyle while preaching religious virtues of modesty and humility.

According to an ABC News article, Hinn’s wife Suzanne filed for divorce in the Orange County Superior Court on February 1. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the separation.

The couple had actually separated on January 26th, according to the divorce court papers. Since then, Hinn has been living in an apartment in Dana Point, Calif.

On Hinn’s website, his ministry released a statement saying that “Pastor Benny Hinn and his immediate family were shocked and saddened to learn of this news without any previous notice.”

It continued to say that Hinn attempted to mend his relationship with his wife, but the couple could not work out their issues, and that Suzanne served him the divorce papers without any prior notice.

But according to Susanne Hinn, she filed for divorce because their differences and problems could not be worked out any other way. They were having issues for a couple months prior to the filing.

She also said that she and her husband attempted to work out their issues. They visited with pastors and other faith healers, but they were unable to work things out.

The couple was married in 1979 and they have four children together. Hinn has not released any further statements about the divorce proceedings.

No court date has been set to determine how to split their assets.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.