Social taboos on the topic of divorce are changing in Egypt, according to a CNN article.

Before, divorce and relationships were never widely talked about in public –  each was considered a private matter – but now it is becoming a hot topic to talk about in the media.

Egypt is and always has been a patriarchal society where men have more rights than woman. The country is ruled by Islamic law, which is based on the Islam religion Shari’a.

This law dictates practices for both marriage and divorce. Rights are unequal for men and women.

Under the Islamic Shari’a, men can divorce their wives at any time, any place and for any reason by saying, “I divorce you” three times consecutively. Women can only get a divorce through legal court action.

But times, they are a-changing…

In 2000, Egypt amended their laws allowing woman to initiate “no fault” divorces called Khula. Even though this seems to be a breakthrough, women who seek Khula must surrender all claims to alimony and their dowries.

As barriers break down and talking about divorce in public becomes more popular, more women are filing for divorce and more are seeking counseling for their marriages.

The number of divorces in Egypt is constantly increasing. According to CNN, the divorce rate in 2008 jumped 8.4 percent, and now nearly 40 percent of marriages in the country end in divorce. This is the highest rate for any Arab country, and it’s one of the few that publicly discusses the topic of divorce.

One woman – Mahasen Saber – regularly discusses the topic on her radio show called Divorce Radio. She uses her program to help break stigmas and talk openly about divorce and relationship issues.

Saber stated, “The main perception of a woman who is divorced in Egypt, or in any Arab country, is that she is evil or something is not right… that she has done something wrong. I started Divorce Radio to change that view.”

Women’s rights have changed and continue to change over the years in Egypt. Women are gaining momentum with access to education and opportunities for employment. They now have the opportunity for economic independence.

With this increase in divorce, it’s only natural for people to speak out about the topic. Women are the most affected and the main group discussing it, as it’s changing the way they think and live their lives.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Young adults today need a reality check – at least according to retired Georgia Supreme Court Justice Leah Ward Sears, who has herself been a divorcee and a single mother.

In a CNN article, Sears calls out the faults of the modern institution of marriage, saying that with the inception of no-fault divorce 40 years ago in California, marriage ideals began to unravel.

Ward said that in her years on the bench, she saw countless couples who were dealing with issues that she believe stemmed from an growing irreverence for marriage in the U.S.

In her experience, people who choose to be single parents or who have suffered a bad divorce have a harder time relating to their children.

Her main point is this: “Many Americans are failing their children because they have already failed themselves,” meaning that many of the parents she saw in her courtroom were unprepared for parenthood.

Ward suggests six things that could help revitalize the American institution of marriage:

1. Stop glorifying single parenthood – it’s all over the media with single or unmarried celebrity parents, but that doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. It’s not easy – despite appearances.
2. To all single mothers by choice - consider the emotional deprivation of your child who will grow up without a father.
3. Teach Generation Y about parenting – Having a baby doesn’t mean it’s someone to love you unconditionally. Think about how you treated your parents growing up. Not always the most pleasant thing, right?
4. Give more props to men – Husbands and fathers that do their jobs well are not commended enough. Raising children with two people is wonderful, make sure the men know how needed they are.
5. Fewer broken homes now could mean more productive people later – There are kids who come out of single-parent homes and are incredibly successful, but the statistics speak otherwise. Most don’t have the same educational success and social skills as kids who grow up living with married parents.
6. Revisit no-fault divorce laws in state legislatures – Some of these laws allow one party to opt out of a marriage too easily. Working through problems can often make a relationship stronger. Don’t give couples such an easy option of just giving up.

See Judge Sears’ article: Stay married if you want kids

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Though the role of marriage and divorce continues to evolve in U.S. culture, existing alimony laws have largely remained the same – which some may see as a problem.

According to a Wall Street Journal article, increasing efforts from lawmakers and lobbyists in several states are placing new pressures on these old alimony laws.

With the cultural changes in gender roles in the workplace and the nature of marriage, lawmakers are challenging the idea that a spouse should provide financial support for an indeterminate period of time.

The Wall Street Journal reported that in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Oklahoma, there are efforts by lawmakers underway to update alimony laws to meet the demands of modern society.

Update efforts support new time limits on alimony payments, bans on alimony when spouses are of similar professional standing, or eliminating or reducing alimony if a spouse commits a crime or becomes involved in a romantic relationship. Similar campaigns from activists and lobbyists are taking place in states like Florida, Ohio, Arizona and North Carolina.

In Massachusetts, several pieces of legislation are working their way through the system. One, a bill called “Reform Massachusetts Alimony Laws Now!,” would limit alimony payments to a reasonable time and require that a spouse at least attempt to become self-sufficient. This bill essentially establishes alimony as a temporary payment.

Another Massachusetts bill would, according to the Wall Street Journal, “end the currently common practice of using the assets of a second spouse to determine the ability of a person to pay alimony.”  Also, alimony payments would end with the retirement of the payer.

Alimony laws were originally meant to safeguard spouses who didn’t work outside of the home during a marriage, particularly those who’ve sacrificed careers in order to raise families. A number of states allow alimony payments for life.

Proponents of alimony law amendments argue that times have changed, and that alimony law should change with them. Opponents argue that times haven’t changed enough, as women still average only 75% as much in salary in the workplace as men do.

The Wall Street Journal reported that the core of the debate over updated alimony laws stems around the question of whether alimony should be viewed as a transitional exchange, meant only to allow time for another spouse to establish financial independence, or whether alimony is a guarantee that a spouse has earned by sacrificing a career for the sake of the family.

As the economic recession continues, there has been an increase in alimony payers requesting modifications of their alimony agreements due to financial pressures. And with powerful individuals impacted by divorce and alimony, the movement toward more protections for the payer seems to be gathering momentum.

In a case out of Florida, an appeals court ruled that a judge was no longer obligated to pay his ex-wife over $3,000 per month in alimony, because she had, for more than 20 years, been living with another man.  A group in the state has enlisted a lobbyist to work for legislation that would limit the years a spouse is required to pay alimony.

The Ohio bar association is gathering legislative sponsors for a bill that would attempt achieve the same goal. In Pennsylvania, the Senate is looking at a bill that would cut alimony payments for spouses who live in a romantic relationship with someone else.

Divorces and alimony settlements can be complicated, and can vary from one to the next. The true cost of marriage might never be resolved. But there is a movement underway to change the view of alimony.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Married couples often butt heads when it comes to finances – and it is sometimes even cause for divorce.

However, according to a report from Rediff Business News, the recession that is causing the world to tighten its belt may also be causing feuding couples to wait it out and not file for that divorce just yet.

Employment rates have fallen, salaries have gotten cut and it’s having an effect on more than just our pocketbooks. It seems that since money isn’t flowing as freely as it was a few years ago, couples are thinking twice before putting lots of dollars into a divorce.

Divorce lawyers have reported a decrease in the number of divorce cases they see each month. Though it may be unpleasant for separated or estranged couples to remain connected via a marriage license, it seems like a financially responsible thing to do.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

The recent he said/she said battle in the very public divorce of Jon and Kate Gosselin is a fight over cash. Both claim the other took a significant amount of money out of their joint bank account without consulting one another.

Kate claims Jon took $230, 000 from the account and Jon claims Kate took a total of $60,000. They recently went to court for the matter, but the hearing lasted only an hour long.

A second hearing has been scheduled for October 26^thas it appears there was no conclusion.

With all these disagreements and divorce battles being so public- Jon and Kate might be causing more harm than good to all the parties involved. This happens in many celebrity divorce cases.

A divorce attorney who handles celebrity divorce and child custody cases – Randall Kessler – said it’s hard for celebrities to keep quiet during the proceedings because they are used to the spot light and most press usually helps their celebrity status.

But in divorce cases it has the opposite effect.

Every word spoken out can be used against them and it is all recorded proof. Kessler continues to state that “they [celebrities] are so used to be being in charge of their own destiny and being able to decide what’s best for them that it is very hard for them to listen to attorneys, accountants, or anyone that is trying to advise them.”

Are Jon and Kate listening to any advice given to them?

Initially after tabloids released the story that Jon cheated on Kate, she stuck by him. But the public have seen the progression from what appeared to be an amiable friendship to a bitter divorce battle.

Every week some new fight breaks out between the estranged couple. Many wonder how this can affect their children.

Child Psychologist Joanne Pedro- Carroll stated, “Given how public the divorce is and the children’s young ages, [this] makes them very vulnerable.”

Both Kate and Jon claim they have the children’s best interests at heart. The public will have to wait to see the next battle and how this divorce will end.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Should same sex couples be allowed to file for divorce in a jurisdiction they were not married in? A question on most Texans’ minds with the recent decision made by a state judge to allow a gay couple to divorce.

Many same sex couples are happy to hear the decision not because they want to get a divorce, but they hope it may be a breakthrough for allowing gay marriage, which is currently banned in the state of Texas.

Back in 2005, voters approved a constitutional amendment that defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman, thus not allowing same sex couples to marry.

So if a gay couple wishes to get married, they must do so out of the state and then return back home to their lives.

The two men seeking divorce married in Cambridge, Mass. in September 2006 and later returned to Dallas. The men filed for divorce citing, “discord or conflict of personalities.” They are keeping their identities anonymous in hopes to keep their life private.

State district judge Tena Callahan ruled that the Dallas couple could file for divorce in under her jurisdiction in Texas.

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and Texas Governor Rick Perry state the judges’ ruling will be appealed as they feel it goes against the constitution. Abbott wants to appeal the ruling to uphold the ideas of marriage the Texas voters voted for and agreed upon.

But Callahan disagrees and states her decision protected the couple’s rights as human beings and that the Texas ban on marriage violates the U.S. Constitution. Callahan denied the district attorney’s involvement stating she has “jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction.”

Abbott argues since gay marriage isn’t allowed or recognized in Texas, then no court can dissolve a marriage through divorce.

He continues to state, “The laws and the constitution of the state of Texas define marriage as an institution involving one man and one woman.”

He thinks this ruling will destroy constitutional definition already voted on.  The Texas family code does not allow same sex marriage or civil union either. It stops the state and cities from providing legal protection or benefits for same sex marriage.

Since many heterosexual couples can get married in one jurisdiction and divorced in another, it will be interested to see if Texas State Laws allow the same for same sex couples.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Many people today have gone through a divorce or have been affected by the process in one way or another. It only seems appropriate that in today’s society, there are classes to help people make it through this long, emotional process.

Adults and children alike may suffer from the affects of divorce . It splits a home in two, and everyone searches for answers to what happened in the past. Children do not always understand the situation and might feel like they are the cause of the divorce.

It may be hard to know where to begin and how to adapt to all the surrounding changes. Divorce proceedings focus on separation of financial assets, as well as with the emotional well being of both parents and children.

Parents may want to be aware of their children’s behavior during the divorce. Children may show aggressive behaviors and may not cooperate. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggests being open with the children and letting them know even though the marriage is ending, both parents will still be a part of their lives.

Classes can teach the adult parties involved how to parent together- even though their relationship is dissolving. These classes can teach families how to cope through this difficult process.

Classes might be small lecture groups or on the internet where online parenting classes, designed to meet requirements for mandatory parenting education. Online classes might be convenient for the working parents who can review and take the classes in the comfort of their home or on the move.

According to Associate Press, 27 states make parenting programs mandatory and in other states, judges can order parents to take classes. Some cities and districts may require classes by state divorce laws.

The emotional well being of families going through divorce may depend on cooperation from both parents, and classes might be an option that can help families move forward.

Sources: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Family Affairs- Education for Families in Transition and Associated Press

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

On Thursday, August 20, former NFL defensive end Theodore Nix was arrested for not paying child support. The unpaid child support amounted to $214,245, authorities allege.

According to The Cincinnati Enquirer, Nix was arrested in Hamilton County, Ohio after a warrant was issued for alleged unpaid child support. Nix has a 16-year-old son.

Nix is accused of not paying child support since 2000. He also missed a child support hearing in 2006 and is also being charged with contempt of court for his absence.

In 1992 Nix was picked in the eighth round of the NFL draft by the Cincinnati Bengals. He played 16 games for the Bengals and two games for the Minnesota Vikings.

Source: UPI.com

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

The United Action for Youth in Iowa City recently started a workshop for children stuck in the middle of their parents’ divorce. The Kids First Divorce Workshops will give children a place to talk about their feelings in a two-and-half hour mandatory session for children with divorcing parents.

“Kids process information differently at different age,” said Kate Moreland, UAY’s development director. “It serves as a support group, too. It allows them to vent feelings so they’re not alone in the process.”

The program was first developed by the Kids First Law Center in Linn County. The program has been running for two years now. Johnson County was set to have the program start on July 11th, but it was delayed because of low enrollment.

“We have not received one negative call,” said Jenny Shulz, the founder and executive director of Kids First Law Center in Cedar Rapids. “I frankly think that is pretty amazing — not one piece of negative feedback from people after attending the class.”

The workshop is an educational and interactive experience for children, using artwork, games, videos, discussions and role-playing. Older children will have the chance to ask an attorney about the divorce process.

During divorce, children may be left to take care of their own thoughts and feelings as parents try to work through their own issues, Moreland told the press. The free workshops give youth a place to express what they are thinking and feeling with other children who are the same age.

“It gives them a safe and confidential place to speak about the divorce,” Moreland said. “It lets them know they are not alone and it is not their fault.”

Sources: The Daily Iowan, The Press-Citizen

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

On Tuesday, Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon signed into law a bill giving men two years to challenge a paternity ruling with DNA tests.

According to the new law, a man can use paternity testing to prove that he isn’t the biological father, which will excuse him from any unpaid child support he was ordered to pay in the past.

The law, which takes effect on Aug. 28, will also have any criminal convictions for not paying child support removed from the falsely identified father’s record.

Under most state divorce laws, a man is presumed to be the father of the child if he is married to the mother. A man can also be named the biological father if he signs an acknowledgment when the child was born or is ordered to by the court. Some courts have declared a man the father of a child because he didn’t respond to the mother’s paternity assertion.

Many courts have falsely identified men as biological fathers, forcing them to pay child support when they are not the father. This law in will give men the opportunity to challenge a paternity ruling.

Missouri is one of more than 30 states to allow paternity challenges in the last ten years.

Source: Kansas City Star

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.