By John Clark

Montana has a reputation as a rough-and-tumble state, but its courtrooms are usually relatively peaceful places, just like those in other states.

But one man who was upset about a judge’s handling of his pending divorce case took some extreme measures to air his displeasure, according to a report from The Monroe News.

Sources say Mark McNamee, a resident of Flat Rock, Montana, was arrested this week after making serious threats via telephone and social media to two probate judges, Frank Arnold and John Hohman, in Monroe County.

According to prosecutors, McNamee left several “vulgar and threatening” phone messages on the telephones of the judges, who recently issued a protection order that kept the man from seeing his children, which dramatically reduces the odds that he will get custody of his children.

Monroe County officials also say McNamee left several threatening statements on Judge Arnold’s personal website. The police report claims one of the messages says “I hope I mess your family up like you did mine,” sources say.

For his actions, McNamee was arrested this week and charged with three counts of malicious use of a telecommunication device. Sources say each charge carries a maximum penalty of six months in jail.

After his arrest, McNamee was released on a $5,000 bond, but the judge demanded that he live with his brother and wear a tracking device.

Under the terms of his release, McNamee will also be prohibited from entering the courthouse without supervision, and may not engage in any contact with a county judge. He was also ordered to refrain from using alcohol or drugs, sources indicate.

In his defense, McNamee told the judge he “didn’t mean anything by” the messages, and claims he had no intention of acting on the threats. He also claimed that he would lose his job as a result of the arrest, which would leave him with nothing.

But the criminal judge said this was a “serious offense,” regardless of who the victims were, and he noted that McNamee’s alleged “bullying and threatening” was “a real, real problem.”

The judge also expressed reservations about releasing McNamee on bond, claiming that he “has the potential to be a danger to his estranged wife, the judges and their staff.”

In order to hold the man “accountable,” the judge ordered that he be “scrutinized 24-hours a day.” And while McNamee handles his criminal case, his actions likely made his divorce proceedings significantly more difficult, as well.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By John Clark

An Illinois court has dropped criminal charges against a man who was accused of forging divorce documents in order to remarry, according to a report from CBS News Chicago.

Sources say Steve Fanady was initially charged with forging the signature of a Cook County judge, as well as the signature of a divorce lawyer, in order to receive an annulment of his marriage from the Greek Orthodox Church.

Without the religious annulment from the church, sources say, Fanady would have been forbidden from remarrying.

And while sources do not say if the court ruled on the issue of whether Fanady actually forged the signatures in question, the aggrieved man was able to escape the charges based on a novel legal argument.

According to sources, the Illinois court ruled that it could not determine whether Fanady had illegally created the divorce documents because the dispute was between him and his church.

Before making its ruling, the court accepted an argument posed by Fanady’s divorce attorney that prosecuting a man for allegedly lying to his church violated the time-honored separation between church and state.

Sources say that Fanady’s lawyer, while never acknowledging that the allegations were true, successfully argued that the trouble was between Fanady and his church, and could not be resolved in a U.S. court.

The prosecution, in return, claimed that Fanady had forged the signature of court officials, and lied to the church, and thus was eligible for criminal punishment.

But, according to Fanady’s attorney, Joel Brodsky, under the prosecution’s argument, “if a Catholic went to confession to get absolution, and lied to the priest, and got absolution, he could be charged with deceptive practices and theft by deception.”

This, Brodsky claimed, would be disastrous, but never occurs thanks to the fact that, in the United States, “church and state are separate, thank God.”

Sources note that, if Fanady had attempted to pass the forged documents to a court, or other government agency, that the court may have had cause to prosecute him.

But since Fanady only allegedly tried to trick his church into thinking he was divorced, he cannot face criminal consequences for his actions.

After the court’s decision to drop the case, Fanady denied that the allegations were true, but also expressed relief that the legal saga had ended.

“It’s a relief, and it’s really fine to just get on with life,” said an exhausted Fanady. “When the matter first came out, it’s very distressful, it caused a lot of loss of sleep, it was very disconcerting.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By John Clark

A controversial British study blames rising levels of divorce in the United Kingdom on the changing drinking habits of wives, according to a report from the Huffington Post.

Sources say an increasing number of British men are filing for divorce because of their wives’ irresponsible drinking, according to several divorce attorneys.

According to one divorce attorney, Amanda McAlister, the “traditional image of the husband spending too long at the pub, while the obedient wife tended to the children,” is far less common than it used to be “ten or fifteen years ago.”

In her own practice, over the past five years, McAlister claims that she has seen a 70 percent increase in the number of men who cite alcohol abuse as the primary reason they are looking to separate from their wives, sources say.

Many of these men, claims McAlister, say their wives “don’t come home until four” in the morning, but she believes that “home drinkers,” those who drink excessively at home, sometimes in secret, are a bigger problem.

Of course, sources are quick to note that husbands’ excessive drinking has long been a common cause of divorce, but the rising number of alcohol abuse among women suggests that British culture is changing, and it might be a sign of some progress.

As women catch up to men in the workplace, they increasing have a strong “reaction to stressful home and work lives,” according to Elizabeth Hicks, another family law attorney.

Hicks believes that “modern society” now allows women to “go out with girlfriends and drink in a way that wasn’t possible ten years ago, and some of the effects are being seen in the home.”

Unfortunately, Hicks says these important cultural developments are pushing more women to drink, and “when there are children involved the effects can be dire.”

Again, both attorneys note that trouble drinking amongst husbands has long been a cause for divorce, but the increased alcohol use of wives may have contributed to the rising divorce rates across the United Kingdom in the last few years.

Other observers, however, also note that economic distress stemming from the prolonged recession that started in 2007 has led to increased drinking among both men and women. And when that drinking affects the nature of a relationship, marriages can crumble quickly.

As the economy continues to sputter along, many experts believe that excessive drinking will continue to put a strain on Western marriages, for husbands and wives alike.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By Mary Ann Pekara

Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman, was refused a divorce by Judge Douglas Gerlach on Friday on the grounds that his marriage, or nine-year union, was never valid.

Judge Gerlach based his ruling on the ban of same-sex marriages in Arizona. He said there was not sufficient evidence to prove Beatie was a male when he got married.

The ruling stated, “The decision here is not based on the conclusion that this case involves a same-sex marriage merely because one of the parties is a transsexual male, but instead, the decision is compelled by the fact that the parties failed to prove that (Thomas Beatie) was a transsexual male when they were issued their marriage license.”

Beatie started testosterone treatments in 1997 and had a double-mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery in 2002 to become a “man” but kept his female reproductive organs.

Thomas married Nancy Beatie in 2003 and he gave birth to their first child in 2008, second child in 2009 and third child in 2010 because she was not able to.

The couple would now like to get divorced and see that their children are “treated equally.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By John Clark

The fate of billions of dollars rests on the possible presence of a prenuptial agreement in the pending divorce case between a billionaire oil tycoon and his disgruntled wife, according to a report this week from Reuters.

Sources say Harold Hamm, a billionaire oilman from Oklahoma, has a personal fortune worth roughly $11.3 billion, which could be split in half if his second wife, Sue Ann Hamm, has a successful trip to divorce court.

Sue Ann Hamm reportedly filed for divorce from her husband several months ago, claiming that her husband had been unfaithful, sources say. But the couple has been tight-lipped about whether they signed a prenuptial agreement before their marriage.

According to sources, if the couple did not sign such an agreement, Sue Ann Hamm could leave the divorce with half of Hamm’s considerable fortune, earned over the course of several years from the profits of Continental Resources, which dominates the Bakken shale region in North Dakota.

In fact, the stakes are even higher for Harold Hamm. Sources say he stands to lose 68 percent of his stake in the company, which he founded in 1967.

And sources note that the wife’s potential payday, which could go as high as $5.3 million, would represent the largest divorce settlement in the history of American divorce.

The case, however, will turn on Oklahoma divorce law, which only requires an “equitable distribution” of marital assets. This does not mean the couple will share their fortune. Rather, it means the court will decide how to apportion the assets using its own judgment.

Weighing in Sue Ann Hamm’s favor are several factors. First, the couple has been married for 25 years, which will likely be emphasized by the wife’s divorce attorneys.

In addition, the couple has had two children together, and Hamm has played an active role as a key executive at Continental Resources. Sources say she even created new marketing units for oil and gas from scratch.

The company itself has refused to elaborate on the divorce settlement process, saying in a recent statement that the divorce is a “private matter” that is “not anticipated to have any impact or effect on the Company’s business or operations.”

For what it’s worth, sources believe the largest prior divorce settlement involved Rupert Murdoch and his former wife Anna Mann, who reportedly received $1.7 billion after their separation, although other sources claim the settlement only involved the exchange of a few hundred million dollars.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Marriage has long been a part of Western civilization, but early history shows marriage was more about money, politics, and power than it was about love. In the heat of the debate about “traditional marriage,” and the likelihood that it can end with filing for divorce, more changes could be coming.

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• Ancient Greece
• Love is honored, especially between two men.
• Inheritance is more important than feelings in marriage.
• If a man dies without male heirs, his daughter can be forced to marry her next closest male relative, and must divorce her current husband if she’s already married.

• Rome
• Statesman Marcus Porcius Cato divorces his wife to have her marry his ally, Hortensius, to strengthen the family bonds.
• When Hortensius dies, Cato remarries her.

• 6th-century Europe
• Germanic warlord Clothar marries four women for strategic purposes, even though he was baptized Christian.

• 12th-century Europe
• Upperclass marriages are usually arranged before the couple has met.
• Aristocrats believe love and marriage are not compatible; love can only thrive in adultery.

• 14th-century Europe
• Ordinary people cannot choose their own mates.
• In 1344, one lord declares his tenants, including widows and widowers, marry people of his choosing.
• Elsewhere, people must pay a fee if they want to choose their spouse.

• 16th-century Europe
• French essayist Michel de Montaigne asserts that men who love their wives must be so boring no one else could love them.

• 1600s-Victorian Era
• 1690s U.S.: Passionate love between spouses is not a common sight.
• Clergy warn about loving your spouse “too much” and using pet names that will “undermine husbandly authority.”
• 18th-century Europe: Love starts earning merit.
• Women declare loveless marriages are regrettable, but it is also important to consider money when choosing a spouse.
• 1840, England: Queen Victoria starts the tradition of virginal lace and the white wedding

  gown.

• Once seen as the “lustier” sex, women are now seen as pure and chaste.
• Men are more likely to have sex with prostitutes than with their wives.
• Mid 19th-century U.S.: Honeymoons replace bridal tours—trips where the bride and groom visit the family who could not afford to attend the ceremony—but many brides still bring their girlfriends along.
• 20th-century Today
• 1920s U.S.: Dating becomes the new craze, allowing the couple to get away from family.
• Pop culture starts embracing sex, but many people believe marriage is in trouble.
• 1950s U.S.: Marriage becomes mandatory and nearly universal.
• Four out of five people surveyed believe remaining single is “immoral” “sick” and “neurotic.”
• 1970s U.S.: Women become more self-sufficient and change societal rules.
• 1970s U.S.: Women become more self-sufficient and change societal rules.
• Bickering couples split up, and, rather than work at problems, divorce.
• Divorce rates increase substantially.
• Today: Marriage serves as the ultimate expression of love.
• Gay couples seek the right to marry.
• Gay marriage is legal in:
• Maryland
• Maine
• Massachusetts
• Connecticut
• Iowa
• Vermont
• New Hampshire
• New York
• Washington state
• Washington D.C.
• Marriage rates decline as people are encouraged to live with someone to be sure they are soulmates before marrying.
• Divorce rates in America:
• 1990: 4.7 per 1,000 population
• 2000: 4.0 per 1,000 population
• 2010: 3.5 per 1,000 population

Facts About Marriage

• Men who make it a habit to kiss their wives every morning live five years longer than men who don’t.
• Men in love show increased activity in the visual part of their brain; women in love show increased activity in the area of the brain that controls memory.
• Marriage-by-Proxy—marrying without being present at your own wedding—is legal for military personnel in California, Colorado, Texas and Montana.
• Montana even allows for double by-proxy weddings, meaning neither the bride nor the groom must be present to marry.
• In Kentucky, it’s illegal to marry the same man four times.
• In South Carolina, it’s illegal for a man age 16 or over to propose unless they mean it.
• In Delaware, it’s legal to annul a marriage that takes place because of a dare.
• American businesses lose $6 million in revenue every year from marital hardship.
• Employees in happy marriages are more productive at work.
• The first recorded mention of same-sex marriage occurred in Ancient Rome.
• It went without comment until Christianity became a religion.
• Denmark became the first post-Christianity nation to legalize same-sex marriage in 1989.
• Since Virginia law required slaves to leave the state when freed, in 1815 a woman asked the state government to enslave her again so she could remain with her still-enslaved husband.

This infographic was provided exclusively by Total Divorce.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

The number of divorce filings spikes in January for a number of reasons. Is January really the best time to file for a divorce?

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Reasons Why People File for Divorce in January

• Many couples want to wait until after the holidays.
• This is more common when children are involved.
• Some couples may want to start the New Year “fresh”.

Advantages to Divorcing in January

• January marks the start of a new tax year.
• Financially, this makes the following tax year easier.
• Divorce removes your legal liability for your spouse’s debt, while separation does not.
• When parents are happier, the kids will be, too.

Disadvantages to Divorcing in January

• Marital status as of December 31 affects how taxes are filed.
• Some couples may put off divorce because they cannot afford it.
• Divorce can negatively affect health.
• Divorce may increase a boy’s stroke risk later in life.
• Studies show divorced adults have a higher risk of early death than those who are married.

Divorce Day, a.k.a “D-Day”

• Some lawyers have attempted to isolate a single day in January when the most divorces are filed.
• Though not exact, the most popular day to file for divorce is the first Monday after children go back to school from holiday break.

This infographic was provided by Total Divorce.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By John Clark

An Arizona man is trying to get a divorce, but his efforts may be thwarted because of a sex-change operation, according to a bizarre report from the Associated Press.

The story is as remarkable as the legal tussle facing the state of Arizona. In 1997, Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman, began testosterone treatments to transform himself into a man.

Five years later, Beatie had chest reconstruction surgery and changed his driver’s license to say he was male.

In 2003, Thomas Beatie married his partner, Nancy, in Honolulu. Soon, Thomas, who still retained female reproductive organs, became pregnant thanks to a dose of donated sperm, and gained national fame as the “Pregnant Man.”

Over the next few years, Thomas gave birth to three children, all of whom are now under the age of four, and he and his partner eventually moved to Arizona.

Recently, Thomas and Nancy decided to end their nine-year marriage, but their efforts to file for divorce have become incredibly complicated, thanks to an Arizona ban on same-sex marriage.

According to Maricopa County Family Court Judge Douglas Gerlach, Thomas cannot be considered a man for legal purposes because he has given birth to three children.

As a result, Judge Gerlach has spent several months trying to determine whether Thomas is, under Arizona law, a woman. If so, the couple’s marriage would be deemed invalid, and the state of Arizona would refuse to allow the couple to divorce.

Sources say, however, that this could be a landmark case for transgendered people. In brief, Judge Gerlach must determine whether Arizona judges have the ability to grant a divorce in cases involving a transgender party, despite the state’s ban on same-sex marriages.

Interestingly, Thomas Beatie would stand to benefit financially if the court ruled that his marriage was invalid, because he is expected to have to pay alimony to Nancy if a divorce is granted.

Beatie, however, doesn’t mind losing money as long as the validity of his marriage is confirmed, according to his divorce attorney.

And Beatie won’t have to wait much longer to learn the fate of his marriage. Sources say a judge is expected to rule in early February, just a few days after the trial begins at the end of January.

Thus will end one of the most bizarre divorces cases in recent memory. Of course, according to Nancy Beatie’s divorce attorney, if you “took away the transgender part of it,” the couple’s dispute is really a “garden-variety divorce case.”

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Weddings are a joyous occasion, but a new trend suggests divorces are becoming just as worthy of celebration. Divorce parties are about celebrating the new chapter in your life and letting go of the stress and frustration associated with ending a marriage.

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Location:

• Opt for neutral territory.
• Rent a space.
• Consider using a local restaurant or bar that you love.
• No one will have to worry about setting up the party.
• No one will have to clean up after the festivities.

Invitations:

• Send invitations out with plenty of advanced notice.
• This gives people time to get comfortable with the idea and address their concerns.

What to Include:

• Keep the invitation light and funny.
• Explain why you’re doing what you’re doing.
• Location
• Date/Time

Who to Invite:

• Invite people who care about you and are supportive.
• Avoid inviting people who are negative about your divorce.
• Do not invite small children.
• Invite only those you feel comfortable with.
• Make a list of potential guests.
• Scan the list and remove guests as necessary based on how you feel about them.

Theme & Decor:

• Get creative!
• Have guests dress up as famous ex-couples, such as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, or Madonna and Guy Ritchie.
• Choose lighthearted and fun decor.

Food & Drinks:

• Consider catering the event so there’s no stress over preparation.
• Think cocktail party.
• Have drinks available with lots of hors d’œuvres.
• Pigs in a Blanket.
• Spinach dip.
• Cheese stuffed mushrooms.

Brought to you by Total Divorce.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

By Mary Ann Pekara

While much of the world continues to debate over who should be able to marry, it’s easy to overlook people marrying themselves, animals, and inanimate objects. They say love takes many forms, but what we see here is surprising!

Man Marries Himself

In 2007, Chinese man Liu Ye, married a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself. The cutout features Ye wearing a red dress. The ceremony honored all Chinese wedding traditions. He made the event a public affair by holding the ceremony in village where local citizens could watch. Ye decided to marry himself because he was unhappy with reality.

Woman Marries Herself

In 2003, artist Jennifer Hoes married herself in The Netherlands, to celebrate her 30th birthday. A ceremony in front of friends and family, the wedding was meant to symbolize her commitment and responsibilities to her own life.

Woman Marries the Eiffel Tower

In 2008, a 37-year-old San Francisco woman married the Eiffel Tower. She changed her surname to “La Tour Eiffel.” She says she fell in love with and married the tower because of issues with human relationships. She was repeatedly molested as a child, and abandoned by her parents and left in foster homes.

Woman Marries the Berlin Wall

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, who’s last name literally translates to “Berlin Wall” married the wall after her sixth visit in 1979, after being diagnosed with Objectum-Sexuality. She said she first fell in love with the wall when she was seven and saw it on television. The destruction of the wall devastated her, and she has not returned to visit. Instead, she keeps models in her home. She maintains her husband is “sexier” than the Great Wall of China, because the Great Wall is thicker.

Woman Marries Fairground Ride

In 2009, Amy Wolfe, a 33-year-old Pennsylvania woman, married a fairground ride called 1001 Nachts. She believes she suffers from Objectum-Sexuality because at 13 years old, she felt instantly attracted to the ride, mentally and sexually. Since she knew it wasn’t “normal” she kept the feelings to herself, but has since decided those feelings are a part of who she is.

Man Marries Game Character

In 2009, a Japanese man who calls himself Sal9000 married Nene Anegasaki, a video game character from the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus. The wedding was live-cast on popular Japanese video sharing website, Nico Nico Douga.

Man Marries His Cat

In 2010, German postman Uwe Mitzscherlich married his cat Cecila, after the vet told him she was sick and wouldn’t live much longer. He wore a tuxedo, and she wore a wedding dress.

Woman Marries a Dolphin

In 2006, Sharon Tendler married Cindy, her dolphin companion of 15 years. The ceremony took place in Israel, and puts her as the first woman on record to be married to a dolphin. For years, she kept the possibility of marrying a human on the table, but has since decided she’s only meant to be with the dolphin.

Man Marries a Goat

In 2006, a man was forced to marry a goat and pay dowry to its owner as public embarrassment. In Sudan, the law says a man caught sleeping with a woman must marry her immediately. When the man was caught engaging in sexual activity with the animal, the law was applied.

Man Marries His Pillow

In 2010, Korean man Lee Jin-gyu married his pillow. The oversized pillow features an image of Fate Testarossa, from the anime series Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. He had “her” fitted with a wedding dress, and performed the ceremony with a local priest.

Man Marries His Doll

Davecat, a man featured on the TLC show, My Strange Addiction, married his 80-pound love doll, Sidore, in 2001. He says she’s the perfect companion with qualities that are “hard to find in an organic woman.” He hasn’t dated a woman since he bought the doll.

Regardless of who or what these people marry, it’s clear real emotion and deep love are the motivators in these unions.

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved.