This week, the headlines have beared the bad news of two more little boys who lost their lives. It’s sad to hear when children die before they have even had the chance to live, but it’s even sadder to hear these two boys died at the hands of their father.

In the beginning of March, Duncan and Jack Connolly, ages 7 and 9, were reported missing. After spending some time with their father, Michael Connolly, they had not been dropped of Sunday, March 8.

After a month of pleading for the boys safe return and searching for the two boys, their bodies were discovered in Putnam County. It was not disclosed how the boys were killed, but the investigators are saying Michael killed the boys and then hung himself a few yards away.

The boys mother, Amy Leitchenberg, says the court system failed her two little ones. In 2006, Leitchenberg left Connolly and found refuge at a domestic violence shelter. Connolly was reported as abusive, which was documented in court several times.

The judge wanted Connolly to get a job, find a home and stop harrassing his ex-wife. When Connolly did, he was granted with unsupervised visits with Jack and Duncan, despite his history of threatening to cut open his wife, violating the order of protection taken out against him 57 times and concerns expressed about his erratic behavoir by a visitation supervisor.

Did our child custody laws fail these boys? Most state courts favor the idea of children having a relationship with both parents. If joint child custody is possible, the court will grant it. From there, it is up to the parents to work it out. But what happens if your spouse is just playing the system?

Despite Connolly’s past, he had Illinois divorce law on his side. Any parent without child custody is granted reasonable visitation rights, unless it’s felt that visitation would endanger the child. However, to prove that your child may be in danger, the custodial parent has a high burden of proof. Critics of the law are saying the law doesn’t really protect children from abusers.

I support the idea of both parents having an active role in their children’s lives, but I think the system failed Leitchenberg and her two sons. It’s hard to believe that a man with that much of a past was granted unsupervised visits with his sons. There are instances where people make improvements in their lives, but was nine months of “playing by the rule” enough proof that Connolly wasn’t a danger to his sons’ lives? I don’t think so.

To learn more about the Connolly case, check out the article in The Chicago Tribune. Does child custody laws need reformed? Have you felt like the law failed you? How do you think we should restructure our laws to better protect our children?

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved

It’s just another area where the economic crisis ahs taken it’s toll: child support. As more parents take hits from layoffs, reduced benefits or cut back of hours, divorce courts have noticed more people petitioning to modify child support.

In Illinois’ Kane County, the Assistant States Attorney, Marzenia Vandeburgt, noted that a majority of the petitions to modify child support are granted in situations where the parent has lost a job and is receiving unemployement.

Here’s the catch-22: When a parent has lost their job, obviously they have their own bills to continue to pay, but should child support be what they default on? We owe it to our children to support them in a lifestyle they would have enjoyed before the divorce. Is there a legitimate argument for defaulting on child support payments, or is it just a nice option for some people when times are tough?

Share your thoughts: Do you think non-custodial parents have a legitimate reason to skip payments? Or, do you feel custodial parents are pushing for too much money when the economy is already tough enough?

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved

Yesterday the New Hampshire House approved a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. The New York Times reported that the bill was passed by close vote of 186 to 179. The bill must still pass the State Senate and signed by Gov. John Lynch. Civil unions between same-sex couples was made legal last year, but the state has not been as successful at getting same-sex marriage legalized.

New Hampshire’s next door neighbor, Vermont, also is considering same-sex marriage. Last Friday, the State Senate approved the bill. The House is set to hear the same-sex marriage bill next week; however, the Gov. Jim Douglas has already announced his intentions of vetoing the bill if it reaches his desk. Although Vermont was the first state to legalize same-sex civil unions in 2000, the same-sex marriage bill doesn’t have as many supporters.

As I have spent a lot of time reading family law and divorce, I’m still not sure what to make of same-sex marriage. We have never been a country to limit a person’s rights to pursue whatever makes them happy. Is same-sex marriage really dangerous to our government and country? Yet, I understand the strong opposition because the marriage is not recognized by the Church.

Please respectfully share your thoughts: Same-sex marriage – why do you support or disapprove of it?

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved

We’ve all seen the headlines of celebrities, or more often people that lucked into marrying a celebrity, demanding more money. How can one be expected to live on less than a million a year?

One of the big celebrity story making waves is the divorce between Countess Marie Douglas-David and former United Technologies CEO George David. In 2005, the couple signed a prenuptial agreement saying that gave Douglas-David $38 million in cahs, stock and a Park Avenue apartment. Douglas-David is asking the judge to throw out the order because she says she was coerced into it.

The Swedish countess is says she cannot afford to live on that amount but needs $100 million. Now, before you start to pick your jaw back up off the ground, the countess also says that she needs $130,000 a month in alimony. David is estimated to be worth $329 million.

You have to begin to wonder if these outrageous demands are beginning to make alimony payments look like a joke, but when you have that much money to being with, is Douglas-David’s request reasonable?

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved

10thMarch

Hello world!

Welcome to my divorce survival guide! You may recognize me from an array of social media sites that I signed up for. Social media is a great place to talk with people from all over about what’s going on, but I decided to start my own blog to work more with the divorce community.

There’s a lot of divorce support out there on the Web, and I’m under the belief, the more, the better! Divorce is one of the most significant experiences you will go through. Some people find it easy to cope and are glad to out of an unhappy marriage. Others miss the relationship they left behind and need the support of many to work through the process. Whether you chose to deal with your divorce privately or publicly, I hope you find what I write about helpful.

As the resident divorce writer for Total Attorneys, I felt it was important for us to add some personality to the company. If you are going through something as personal as a divorce, you want to connect with a person. Not only do I want to provide insightful, helpful, touching or even humorous posts, I hope that you can help me be telling me what we can do better. If you are looking up divorce, what do you ultimately want to find?

Copyright © 2010 TotalDivorce, LLC. (as licensee). All rights reserved