I’ve always heard that couples who live together before getting married are doomed for divorce.
When I was younger, I thought that was just my mom’s way of scaring me in tradition. The idea of her daughter living with a man before she was married only meant two things: I was living in sin and I was going to get pregnant.
However, I later found out there have been multiple studies done on cohabitating couples and marital status. In fact, a study was recently published in the Journal of Family Psychology showing that couples living together before engagement and marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who wait. The study also showed that couples living together before engagement reported a lower satisfaction in their marriage.
While I think these studies may have some legitimate findings, I think the public uses them incorrectly. The biggest thing to pay attention to in these findings is why the couples choose to live together.
“We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting,” said Dr. Galena Rhoades, senior researcher for the Center for Marital and Family Studies in the Psychology Department.
Rhoades also led a related study that focused on the reasons why couples chose to live together. The statistics reveal that almost 70% of US couples now cohabitate before marriage. The research team found that about 60% of those couples chose to live together to spend more time with each other, 19% said because it made sense financially and 14% said they were testing the relationship.
“Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships,” Rhoades said. “Perhaps if a person is feeling a need to test the relationship, he or she already knows some important information about how a relationship may go over time.”
What’s considered appropriate has certainly changed, and I don’t think there is a problem with couples choosing to live together before marriage. Like the researchers pointed out, it is best to make sure both people are on the same page about where the relationship is going before taking that next big step. Cohabitating before marriage isn’t soley the reason you should kiss your relationship goodbye. Living with somone who doesn’t share similar goals and dreams or moving in together for the wrong reasons is a big reason why your marriage might end in divorce. Communication is key!
Source: Story about survey found on lifesitenews.com
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