Debbie Does Divorce

Whether you’ve had the distressing news broken to you, had to fess up to your wandering hands or watched a cheat scene on TV, you are familiar with some of the more popular reasons people chose to cheat.

There’s no denying it, cheating isn’t flattering and can bring some pain, but there are also some cheating excuses that leave us all scratching our heads: Did they really just use that as their reasoning for cheating?

While I don’t think it’s wise to try having the best of both – or many – worlds, here are some lame lines you shouldn’t use after getting caught:

1. “I’m reformed now”

People thought you couldn’t have a much more beautiful couple than Jude Law and Sienna Miller, but that was before Law got caught having a fling with the couple’s nanny. After committing a common adultery cliche in 2005, Law told The Daily Telegraph that he didn’t regret cheating because it helped him change his ways.

2. “It’s part of my work responsibilities”

After 19 years of marriage to karate instructor Dorothea Hurley, Jon Bon Jovi told a reporter in 2006 that “infidelity is part of the job.” He admitted to having “lapses” with many women through the years – “welcome to the music business.”

3. “I needed some alone time”

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford made his affair with Argentinian mistress Maria Belen Chapur public earlier this summer. Originally he said he would be hitting the Appalachian Trail for some “alone time,” but he was found in Argentina. He said it was on a whim to visit someplace “exotic,” but it turns out he was there for more than just the scenery.

4 & 5. “Well, really it depends on how you define cheating” & “Because I could”

Former President Bill Clinton’s excuses hold two spots on my list. When the affair with his 24-year-old intern, Monica Lewinsky, first broke, Clinton swore, “I did not have relations with that woman.” But when he finally broke down and fessed up to the public about his affair, he said the nature of his relationship with Lewinsky depended on “what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.” Clinton later excused his sexual relationship with Lewinsky with a “because…I could” to Dan Rather on 60 Minutes.

6. “I was just trying to help”

In 1997 Eddie Murphy was found in his SUV with a transvestite prostitute. Murphy told the tabloids, “It’s not the first hooker I’ve helped out.” He continued on to say, “I’ve seen hookers on corners and I’ll pull over, and they’ll go ‘Oh you’re Eddie Murphy, oh my god,’ and I’ll empty my wallet out to help.” In this particular instance, Murphy told his wife that he “stopped to help a person crying.”

7. “I needed acknowledgments of my achievements”

Former supermodel Christie Brinkley’s husband admitted to cheating on his wife in 2006 with his assistant – a teenager. Peter Cook told Barbara Walters in a 20/20 interview that he felt unappreciated. “A little acknowledgment, a little attention, a little thank you every now and then for my efforts.”

8 & 9 & 10. “No husband is faithful to his wife” & “Men are good lovers when they are betraying their wives” & “I have a headache”

JFK was known for being a great president whose life ended all too quickly. Besides a honorable reputation in politics, many rumors also swirled about who the president kept company with in his bedroom. JFK had excuses from every side of the story. His wife, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, once was quoted as saying that there wasn’t such a thing as a faithful husband. Marilyn Monroe, one of Kennedy’s rumored mistresses, said cheating men make the best lovers. And JFK himself told former British prime minister Harold Macmilan that he got headaches if he wasn’t with a woman every three days. Even with multiple excuses, the reasoning seems lame.

Sources: momlogic.com, MSN Lifestyle & Book of Famous Quotes

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