Should same sex couples be allowed to file for divorce in a jurisdiction they were not married in? A question on most Texans’ minds with the recent decision made by a state judge to allow a gay couple to divorce.

Many same sex couples are happy to hear the decision not because they want to get a divorce, but they hope it may be a breakthrough for allowing gay marriage, which is currently banned in the state of Texas.

Back in 2005, voters approved a constitutional amendment that defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman, thus not allowing same sex couples to marry.

So if a gay couple wishes to get married, they must do so out of the state and then return back home to their lives.

The two men seeking divorce married in Cambridge, Mass. in September 2006 and later returned to Dallas. The men filed for divorce citing, “discord or conflict of personalities.” They are keeping their identities anonymous in hopes to keep their life private.

State district judge Tena Callahan ruled that the Dallas couple could file for divorce in under her jurisdiction in Texas.

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott and Texas Governor Rick Perry state the judges’ ruling will be appealed as they feel it goes against the constitution. Abbott wants to appeal the ruling to uphold the ideas of marriage the Texas voters voted for and agreed upon.

But Callahan disagrees and states her decision protected the couple’s rights as human beings and that the Texas ban on marriage violates the U.S. Constitution. Callahan denied the district attorney’s involvement stating she has “jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction.”

Abbott argues since gay marriage isn’t allowed or recognized in Texas, then no court can dissolve a marriage through divorce.

He continues to state, “The laws and the constitution of the state of Texas define marriage as an institution involving one man and one woman.”

He thinks this ruling will destroy constitutional definition already voted on.  The Texas family code does not allow same sex marriage or civil union either. It stops the state and cities from providing legal protection or benefits for same sex marriage.

Since many heterosexual couples can get married in one jurisdiction and divorced in another, it will be interested to see if Texas State Laws allow the same for same sex couples.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars is a popular book entailing the differences between men and woman. It’s not a secret that men and woman differ not only physically but emotionally too. This continues to be a hot topic as dynamics of gender roles and relationships are changing into the future.

In relationships men and woman view the same situations very differently from emotions running wild to always coming up with a logical solution. We don’t always see things eye to eye and in relationships this could cause some conflict.

How men and woman communicate is determined by how we view our relationships with each other.

Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Utah, is studying how couples argue. She studies the changes that in occur in their bodies as they fight. Diamond is attempting to determine the relationships between the body and the nervous system with communication and conflict.

Even the smallest gesture might aggravate or alleviate the situation with the relationship. She’s attempting to separate and/or connect emotion with certain bodily reactions such as heart rate and anger. She claims the tough part of the study is getting the couples to stop fighting after they start and she’s collected enough data.

In relationships, most couples know how to manipulate one another by pushing the right buttons stirring certain emotions.  That is the simple part.  It’s how to communicate and work through conflict that‘s the tough part.

According to Diamond, men benefit more from marriage then women since women tend to fill the role of maintaining the relationship.  Because women accept this role they feel worn down and tired. She claims this may be why men live healthier and longer lives.

Communication is important to relationships and certain body language may be able to provoke or inhibit conflict.  This could all be related to long lasting marriages or ones that end in divorce.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

According to a recent Census study, there is a new leader in the US for divorced states. In a close 1 point win over last year’s winner, Indiana- more specifically Wayne County, Ind.- has become the new “divorce capital of America.”

In a close second, Monroe County, Fla. has the second-highest proportion of divorced residents.

In a follow up article to the Census study, the Gainesville Sun reported that, “A little more than 18% of Monroe residents are divorced, second only to Indiana’s Wayne County, which had 19%.”

It seems as though both Indiana and Florida are the best, or in this case the worst, states at having divorced residents.

Florida and Indiana have three counties each in the Census study’s top 10 counties of the US: Monroe County, Putnam County and Pinellas County in Florida and Wayne, Floyd and Madison counties in Indiana.

What contributes to a couple’s marital demise? Why are people filing for divorce?

While there are numerous reasons why people may file, three of the most popular appear to be financial, religious, and cultural reasons.

But why then, would two states who don’t seem to share many similarities have the top spots of a Census study on divorce?

The answer to this question may not become clear, but from a superficial level it would seem that financial hardship is something both state’s residents share.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

This morning TLC announced that essentially Jon Gosselin had been fired from it’s hit show “Jon and Kate Plus Eight.”

As of November 2nd, Jon Gosselin will no longer be a star of the program, and the program will change to “Kate Plus 8.”

“Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family,” CNN reported TLC President Eileen O’Neill as saying.

People interviewed with a source close to Jon: “Given Jon’s recent antics, there was no way the show could continue to portray him as a doting Dad, not while all this other crap was going on.”

The series first aired on April 16, 2007, portraying a happy couple coping with raising a set of twins and sextuplets.

But after 10 years of marriage, the couple announced they would be filing for divorce. Ratings soared as news leaked of the couple’s marriage trouble.

The premiere of the fifth season had 9.8 million viewers, and it was the most watched show that Monday night.

“The family has evolved, and we are attempting to evolve with it,” O’Neill said. “We feel that Kate’s journey really resonates with our viewers. Additionally, the network is in development on a Kate project for 2010.”

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Now Jon and Kate’s little dogs are being brought into discussion in their very public divorce. The battle continues between the famous couple, and this time the family dogs may be getting the boot.

It appears that Kate does not want to take care of dogs after the divorce is final, even for the sake of the children.

The two German Shepherds, Shoka and Nala, will go back to their breeder Jeff Christopher who said he will care for the dogs and not give them up for adoption.

Christopher lives on a farm so the dogs will have plenty of space and will be well taken care of. He maintains that the farm will be great for the dogs because the pups have brothers and sisters on the farm that they can run around with.

The dogs might be better off on the farm then being pushed back and forth like their children in this long messy divorce.

You can add this feud to the long list of arguments between the couple since their split. And like most divorce cases each spouse needs place blame on the other.

According to The New York Daily News, John stated, “it’s not fair to the dogs to not be wanted in their own home.”

He’s not happy he has to give the dogs up and blames Kate for not taking the responsibility of caring for the dogs.

Is it really about the dogs or just a division of assets? This might just be another thing to fight about for the couple who obviously have not agreed on most things during their divorce process.  The couple makes this very well known to the public.

This long public divorce must be hard on all parties involved and hopefully the battles will end soon. The divorce is supposed to final at the end of this month, and at least at the end of it all, the dogs will be happy in their wide open space.

Sources: New York Daily News and USA Today

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

According to the latest U.S. Census Bureau, the divorce inforgraphic below illustrates the percentage of people who declare their marital status as divorced or separated.

The Census Bureau takes a Current Population Survey every March. The statistics are from March 2008, the latest census results released.

It’s surprising to note the drastic difference between the percentage of people divorced and the percentage of people separated.

This entire divorce population isn’t represented because remarried divorcees file under the married marital status. The numbers also don’t include people who have never been married.

Created by Total Divorce.

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Divorce can be a messy circumstance surrounded by strange occurrences. And no two situations are alike.

For instance, a Nigerian woman has recently decided to file for divorce from her husband because he can’t control his bowel movements after he’s had one too many drinks.

Oluwakemi Ogundele is looking for a divorce from her husband for defecating in her pots and pans after he drinks too much.

According to her, once he partakes in several drinks, he uses the pots and pans to do his business. She’s fed up with having to clean up after his mess not to mention, that’s not a very attractive quality to the opposite sex.

Well now she’s had enough and is ready for divorce. She’s asked the courts to dissolve the marriage based on his poor habit and that she quite simply no longer loves her husband.

But this is not the first marriage to end to lack of love and control over one’s actions.

In 2006 a Muslim couple was forced to divorce after the husband repeated the Arabic word “talak” three times in his sleep.

This is the Islamic mode of divorce in which the man must repeat this word three times usually in front of witnesses. The literal translation is to “repudiate somebody” or in simple terms to divorce or separate from someone.

After this the couple must be divorced.

The couple did take this to the elders of their village where they were told they were divorced. The elders continued to state if they wanted to be together, then they would have to remarry.

Some of us might wish it were this simple all over the world. But of course as the story shows, if divorce was this easy, it could lead to more problems than it’s worth.

There are many different circumstances surrounding divorce and some may appear to be a little bit odder than others.

Sources: Fox News and Mirror News

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

It’s the same old story:

Boy meets girl. They marry. Girl divorces boy or boy dies over the span of 100 years. Then girl now all grown into a woman moves on and marries 22 times in fear of being alone or looking for true love.

Now obviously this does not happen every day. Although most people only marry once or twice, every individual situation is different. People grow apart or pass away and the one left in the wake decides to move on.

But there are some people who have quite a few marriages for many different reasons.

According to CNN a 107-year-old woman, Wok Kundor in Malaysia, has had 22 husbands in her lifetime. They said she has had a new husband every 4 years or so. Her past relationships ended in divorce or death but she no longer focuses on the past.

Now, Kundor said she’s feeling a little insecure, and she’s afraid husband 22 might pick up his bags and search for greener pastures.

The couple has been married for 4 years and happily according to Kundor. So why is she so insecure?

Her 22^nd husband, Muhummed Boor Che Musa, left the village for a drug rehabilitation program in Kuala Lumpur, the country’s capital.

Kundor said she is afraid that while he is there, he might find someone younger and then leave her because she does not “have the body nor [is she] a young woman who can attract anyone.”

Musa is 37, so she is 70 years older than he. Quite an age difference, but up until this point it did not seem to be an issue.

Musa states he still loves his wife and does not want to live with anyone else, so the age difference does not bother him. They lived in the same village, met and fell in love.

Kundor hopes to visit Musa in the rehab center and hopefully her insecurities can be resolved and he can reassure her he loves her.

She does have a nice 50-year-old gentlemen waiting in the wings if her current marriage ends with filing divorce. Always good to be prepared.

Source: CNN

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

Hugh Hefner, commonly known as Hef, is finally divorced from his estranged wife of 11 years, the former Playboy Playmate Kimberly Conrad.  Most have forgotten this millionaire playboy even had a wife – or least one to whom he was still married.

In his television show, “The Girls Next Door,” Hefner was dating three women while glamorizing the playboy lifestyle that he himself has become so accustomed to and completely embodies. But for the past 11 years he had his estranged wife living next door to him.

Talk about an awkward situation.

The two married in 1989 but have not lived together since 1998, and they have two children together. According to Hefner this is the reason he remained in the marriage for so long.

He had told TMZ in a phone interview, that he was happy to have the divorce finalized. He continued to state that he had remained together for the sake of the children because Conrad asked Heffner to stay with her for their sake.

Hefner recently decided to file for the divorce after Conrad sued him for $5 million. The lawsuit was based on Hefner’s decision to sell the home they owned together, which she still resided in with her two children.  Conrad stated he agreed to give her 9 months to vacate the home and she also stated he would give the $5 million for compensation.

Hefner filed divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.

Up until this point, Hefner has paid Conrad $250,000 per year as established in the prenuptial agreement. He asked the courts that once the divorce is final, he pay her $20,000 per month.  He feels this is an adequate amount to pay his ex.

Hefner also states he’s been very generous with the money he has given his estranged wife so far and feels as though he owes her nothing more.

As for Hefner’s future, he might once again walk down the aisle with a young playmate, according to People Magazine. But he is not rushing into anything soon.

He is currently dating playmates Crystal Harris and twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

Source: NY Daily News & People.com

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.

People always question:

“Why did this happen to me? Why did we get divorced? Why? Why? Why?”

We all want to know the reasons for divorce, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the process that it’s hard to take a step back and clearly look into the why’s and how’s.

Some might have thought that financial stress caused their marriage to disintegrate or maybe the ex-spouse committed an unforgivable act of cheating with another person.

But these, however stressful on a marriage these factors might be, according to a new article, neither are the number one reason people are filing divorce. According to the Salt Lake Marriage Examiner, it might be the avoidance of conflict that causes most marriages to end up in divorce.

Think about it, many people do not like conflict. They would rather sweep it under the rug and pretend like it doesn’t exist.

So how do we get out of conflict and work through tough situations like financial stress?

In many cases when couples fight, it’s hard for them to come to a resolution or agreement that they can both be happy with.

So then what happens? The anger and frustration is still there and it spills over into other parts of the relationship.

This can make it less likely that a married couple will go on dates or spend time with each other because they are letting the feelings inside boil up. And when in public, people generally feel more uncomfortable fighting.

So they just end up avoiding each other all together, thus creating more time for the anger and bitterness to sit.

According to Diane Sollee, the director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education, every couple has a few disagreements that will never be resolved because they are each two different people. She suggests that once couples understand this, then they need to learn to live with these disagreements and learn how to manage and live “around” them.

She goes on to say that you can love despite these differences and develop an understanding of the other person’s position.

Communication might be key to ending conflicts and learning to handle any situation. Lack of communication might be very hard for a marriage to withstand.

Source: Salt Lake Marriage Examiner

Copyright © 2009 TotalDivorce, Inc. (as licensee). All rights reserved.