By Chris Kramer
One of the main reasons that some unhappy couples will try to end a marriage - or will stay in one - is because they think that it is best for the children. Some experts claim that an unhappy marriage will make the household a poor place to raise a child; others argue that the intense change that a divorce brings will negatively impact the child. The issues only get more complicated from here.
If you are in an unhappy marriage and curious about the effects of filing divorce, you're not alone. It might help to have someone help you explore your options. If you would like to have a local divorce attorney help you decide what path is right for you, just fill out the short form below to arrange your initial consultation.
Many couples with young children are concerned about how the divorce will impact them.
One theory among child psychologists that supports ending a bad marriage states that, if the children are in a household with parents who don't want to be married to each other, the negativity from the marriage will be more detrimental to the children than a divorce. This notion considers the children to be more resilient to the changes brought by divorce than typically thought.
However, even if children are able to cope with a divorce, it is important to keep them neutral. When a couple divorces it is easy to get focused solely on the divorce and do whatever it takes to "win" the divorce. This can cause the parents to use children as bargaining chips against their spouse.
What many divorcing couples fail to realize is that the relatively short term divorce proceeding may just be the beginning of the difficulties for the children. It is, typically, not the divorce itself that puts the most stress on the children, but the aftermath.
Absent a highly volatile divorce and depending on the age of the child, the child's memory of the actual divorce may be pretty minimal. The long-term negative effects, according to psychologist and researcher Judith Wallerstein, are usually "the sadness of their family breaking up, the anger they were not able to express, and having to adjust to one parent no longer living in the home."
There is little doubt that a divorce will be difficult for any child to go through. The happiness of each parent must be compared to both the negative consequences of a divorce on the children as well as the negative consequences of an unhappy marriage.
Deciding what is best for you and your children can be a difficult conclusion to make on your own. You may benefit from working with a family law attorney to work towards the best outcome for you and your family.
To connect with a divorce lawyer in your area today, simply fill out the divorce case review form on this page or call 877-349-1310 to arrange your initial consultation.