By Chris Kramer
When people get divorced, far too often they are consumed by the emotional and legal struggle that divorce can cause, and often forget about the emotional toll the divorce can take on the children involved.
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It's important to make sure that your children understand what a divorce is. You don't want them to be left lost and confused about what is happening. Kids are more observant than you might think, and you don't want them to notice significant changes and wonder about it.
Your children might try to blame themselves and try to fix the relationship. This can add a lot of stress to your children and may be detrimental to their emotional well-being. It's important that your children know the divorce is not their fault.
In many divorces, emotions are high, and the divorce can grow spiteful. If it is possible, try to have a conversation with your children together with your spouse. If the two of you discuss what is happening with your children and try your best to answer their questions, it will often be easier for them to understand.
It also might be helpful not to complain or blame your spouse in front of your child. Your spouse is about to be your ex, but to your child, your spouse is still mom or dad. Your relationship is ending, but, in most cases, your children's relationship with their parent is not. Always keep that in mind when you are talking to your child about your future ex.
With all of these tips, it is very important to remain age-aware. You may not want to tell your 5-year-old details about the divorce that you may feel comfortable telling a 16-year-old. Likewise, you may not want to keep teenagers in the dark just because you feel you are trying to protect them.
While you may find this information helpful, just remember that every situation is unique and you will have to decide on the best way to approach your children and take the course of action that works for you.