By Mike Stetzer
If you married someone, then (hopefully) you liked them as a person. It stands to reason then, in many cases, despite the end of a marriage, you might want to salvage your friendship. It's obvious that you probably can't have a relationship like the one you had at the beginning of your marriage, but that doesn't mean you have to give up all hopes of having a friendship with your spouse; in fact, many people manage to have roles in their former spouses' lives.
If you think your marriage has gone as far as it can, and are unsure of how to take the first steps, a divorce attorney might be able to help you. Connect with a local attorney today to get answers your questions and decide if divorce is the right step for you. Simply fill out the form below to get started.
There is no simple cure for those of you trying to stay friends after divorce. You cannot force your soon-to-be ex-spouse to be friends with you. That being said, there are steps you may be able to take to give yourself the best possibility of friendship after the divorce is finalized.
Very rarely will two people agree to all the decisions that occur in most divorces. A third party may help mediate what is really fair for both of you. Sometimes it takes an unbiased party to show you, or your spouse, what is the most equitable distribution of property and not let emotions cloud your perception of what is really fair.
As you proceed into your divorce, emotions are likely to increase even if you try to remain friends. Before the process gets too far in, sit down with your spouse and make ground rules that you will both follow for the duration of the divorce process. This could be determining where your children go for which holidays, who gets to keep attending the local gym, or how your interactions will be with mutual friends.
You are getting a divorce because the marriage doesn't work anymore, and any friendship that emerges is a new kind of relationship. If you think that this friendship is going to be the start of a new romantic relationship, then you're not giving your friendship the full devotion. Your marriage is over, it's time to start working on a friendship.
Your spouse, in all likelihood, does not want to hear about your new romantic escapades. This is particularly true whether you or your ex is the one who initiated the divorce. Just because you grew accustomed to telling them everything doesn't mean that you should tell them things that will hurt them. Just be conscious of what you say around your spouse.
Getting a divorce is never easy, but if maintaining a relationship with your former spouse is a possibility, it may help the process move along more smoothly.