By Gerri Elder
When you decide to divorce, there are many things you may already know about the laws and process; however, there are some aspects of divorce that people never seem to discuss - or never discuss with married people. After you file for divorce, you may discover there's a lot you didn't know.
In a healthy marriage, spouses rely on each other emotionally. As a marriage deteriorates, you may not be able to rely on each other as much, leading to feelings of insecurity. During and after divorce, ex-spouses may fall into a pattern of self-doubt if they don't receive emotional support. For this reason, it's important to have a sturdy support network to boost your confidence levels during divorce.
If you are the custodial parent after divorce, there may be many adjustments to be made. The transition from a two-parent household to a single parent household can be bumpy, for both you and your children. As the parent who is the primary caretaker of the children, it's okay to admit you are exhausted and need a break from time to time. Your kids may be your life, but everyone needs time for themselves and taking this time may re-energize you.
Even during the most amicable divorces, some mutual friends of you and your ex may feel odd about continuing a friendship with both of you. In most cases, you will lose friends and loved ones during a divorce. If you've had a close relationship with your ex-spouse's family, you should be prepared for much of the closeness to evaporate during divorce.
Although it can be difficult, many people must begin a new and separate social life after divorce. While it may be tempting to keep tabs on your ex, you should stop and realize it's no longer your business, it is not a competition and you each have your own lives to live now.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people fail to realize that even if child and spousal support are paid, the same income that once supported one household must support two after a divorce. Divorced people must create a new budget and money can be tight for quite some time.
After the family court judge signs the divorce decree, many people breathe a sigh of relief. After all, this means it's all settled, right? In some cases, especially those involving children, the final divorce hearing may be far from the last time ex-spouses face off in court. Child custody, child support, spousal support and other issues may drag on for years after a couple is legally divorced.