Deciding that you need a divorce is often one of the hardest decisions to make. Many times when a spouse is ready for a divorce, he or she still cares for their partner.
Once you have made up your mind, and you're ready for a divorce, how do you tell them?
One first step that many individuals take is speaking with a divorce lawyer. By consulting with a family law attorney in your area, you can learn about what to expect during your divorce, as well as the state laws that govern how soon you may be able to file divorce.
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You might know that a divorce is coming, but your spouse probably doesn't. The more oblivious to the pending news your spouse is, the more time it may take for your spouse to fully accept the situation. The less your spouse accepts, the more time he or she may spend trying to get you to change your mind.
When you are prepared, make sure that you can get uninterrupted time to tell your spouse. Turn your phones off, make sure the kids are somewhere else. This isn't a time when you want an interruption. You should also expect a response which could vary from denial, to depression, to anger.
You spouse may try to put you down and accuse you of many horrible things. It is important to try to avoid engaging in this dialogue. You may be angry and frustrated back, but you can actively listening and encourage your spouse to say everything he or she wants.
This first discussion will not be the last. It is important to remember that all the issues will not be immediately resolved after you tell your spouse about the divorce. Your economic issues, child custody issues and others will have to be resolved later. Don't try to do too much too soon. You and your spouse will likely sort out many issues during the divorce process.
If you're unsure what to expect during a divorce, you can speak with a divorce attorney who is familiar with the laws in your area and learn more about the divorce process.
A family law attorney may be able to also help you determine the most important matters in your divorce that need to be addressed to you can be better prepared to talk with your spouse about ending your marriage.